2Corinthians 6:14-18
"Don't become partners with those who reject God.
How can you make a partnership out of right and wrong?
That's not partnership; that's war.
Is light best friends with dark? Does Christ go strolling with the Devil?
Do trust and mistrust hold hands?
Who would think of setting up pagan idols in God's holy Temple?
But that is exactly what we are, each of us a temple in whom God lives. God himself put it this way:
"I'll live in them, move into them;
I'll be their God and they'll be my people.
So leave the corruption and compromise;
leave it for good," says God.
"Don't link up with those who will pollute you.
I want you all for myself.
I'll be a Father to you;
you'll be sons and daughters to me."
The Word of the Master, God."
This is a tough one to touch on, not because it isn't clearly stated in the Bible, but because it is the hardest battle I rarely win. Since I'm not in a relationship right now, I can speak out of a pure heart. I have undoubtedly been down this road time and time again, and it is the hardest when you are already in the relationship. We argue that the guy we are dating IS a Christian, but let me say that #1 if they're not constantly seeking a deeper relationship with Christ or #2 Bearing good "fruit" (Galations 5:22-23), you can assume the guy you're dating is NOT a Christian. I will probably be stepping on some toes to say this, as well, but if YOU are not doing these things, you may assume that YOU might not be the Christian you call yourself, either. "If you can't say 'Amen' say 'Ouch'." This is in no way meant to condemn people b/c I'VE BEEN THERE TOO and have a weakness towards it, but also there is no condemnation in Jesus. If you don't feel "convicted" then maybe it's NOT MEANT TO. This reading is for people who ARE Christians, and are curious about why we really should only be dating believers or curious about how to get over someone that is not.
I also understand that the world has corrupted our view of relationships. They tend to give us hope that bad relationships can turn good, ungodly husbands get saved, and that we are lucky enough to score a nice cute guy at all, in this world of players. My sis said it best, "It doesn't matter if he treats you like a Queen, if he doesn't serve the King."
So, here it goes: Why should I only date Christians? (btw, This is my personal opinion)
1. Love
2. Trust
3. Blessings
4. Future
Love is a big thing I am learning. "Love can conquer a multitude of sins." After reading my testimony, it is not hard to believe that Satan would start making me feel "unworthy" of a "good christian guy." I made myself believe that I only wanted a bad boy. The image that I pictured of "Christian guys" was to be honest and blunt, a nerdy, ugly, needy, guy; easily pushed over; offended by my life-style; and ashamed of my past. When my parents asked why I wasn't interested in the guys that were "good" for me, this is what popped up in my head. I was so scared to tell my mom the things that I had done, but the Bible says to "confess your sins, so that you may be HEALED." To my surprise, she still lavished me with love. She FORGAVE me and said that nothing I could do would stop making her love me. It was in that instant, I found that it is God that gives the power to Love, because He in fact, IS love. A godly guy can love you, REALLY love you, because he personally knows love, forgiveness, and grace. You may have "fell in love" but God is the only one that can keep you from falling out of what you fell in to.
Trust issues are very prevalent in this untrustworthy world. Your "word" is no longer good enough. When you are saved, God gives you the Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit is greater than the most benevolent person's conscience. He tells you when you should guard your eyes, your heart, your flesh, your mind, and anything else that may cause you to stumble. Non Christians DON'T have this. They won't be convicted if they are going against God's word. They won't be convicted if their eyes wander to the cute waitress instead of looking at the most beautiful thing in the room [You]. Sure, you may find a great guy, that wants to give you the world, but let's face it, EVERYONE is tempted; and people don't always think with their head. How much greater will you TRUST a guy, if they are constantly being led by the Spirit; If they "feel bad" when they are about to do something that may hurt your relationship; or if they know that they have to be held accountable to God for every thing they do and say!
Who doesn't want blessings? From your earthly father's blessing to your heavenly Father's blessing, we want it all, right? Prov. 8: 32 "..Blessed the man, blessed the woman, who listens to me, awake and ready for me each morning..."; Prov. 10:22 "God's blessing makes life rich..."; Deut. 30:6 "And I command you today: Love God, your God. Walk in his ways. Keep his commandments, regulations, and rules so that you will live, really live, live exuberantly, blessed by God..." We gain God's blessing, our family's blessing, and our friends blessing, if we keep His commandments. I want a guy that I can take home and my parents will say, 'He's the One,' with a SMILE! I want my mentors and friends to have no argument when I find the godly guy that was made just for me. In not being unequally yoked, you are doing what God says, and in turn, you will be blessed for doing so. In this economy, where nothing is permanent, who couldn't afford a little more blessing!?
OK, so you're dating just "for fun." Roller-coasters are "fun", movies are "fun", sky diving is "fun," these things were meant for you to come, enjoy, and leave wanting to come back for more "fun." I don't think dating should have the purpose of enjoying for a moment when all the while you know you'll leave. Or making sacrifices and memories that will be in your head forever. Or giving pieces of yourself and your heart that were meant to be entirely for your husband, to someone that is only a temporary fling. I think you should be dating for a purpose. Actually, I love the whole idea of 'courting'. "Not arousing or awakening love, until it so desires" aka waiting until you are actually ready for commitment, ready to find the love of your life, and able to do so. Either way, your FUTURE is another factor in who you date. From your wedding ceremony til death do you part, your faith will play huge role.
Christians are joined together by God, when they are married. We've mentioned love, trust, faithfulness, blessings, but when a marriage is created, joined, and directed by God, you are looking at one that is everlasting. It is especially important in how you raise your children. When the husband and wife are following God's plans for how to raise their children, they will be in sync, harmonious, and more effective leaders in their household.
This man was at church sunday, with his young daughter and son. The sermon was on love and marriage. I couldn't help but wonder why the mom wasn't there.
Were they divorced?
Was she sick?
Did he come because he HAD to?
Was he a widow?
At the altar call, he darted down to the front with a solemn look on his face. The two kids watched their dad change his life forever. Whether he was coming for salvation, coming to make a new commitment to be a godly man, or to just pray, he made me think about the type of man I want to be my future husband and the father of my future children.
Women I know, talk about how their husband chooses to sit on the front row so they won't be distracted by any other woman, person, or thing. Another godly leader never hesitates to sing loud, sit and pray while everyone's standing, or raise his hands and tell the preacher to "come on!" Women in my Bible study on becoming a Godly woman, talk about how their husbands are in the other rooms learning how to become a godly man. Another woman in my Bible study prays for her husband's salvation every week, while praying for her patience and letting us know how hard it is, but also how committed she is to their marriage.
*What do you want YOUR future to be like?
*Do you want to be on the same page with your spouse?
*Do you want to discipline your children according to God's word and train them up in the ways of the Lord, as the Bible instructs?
*Do you want to be alone at church on sunday, while your spouse chooses to sleep in and then get drunk for the game?
*Do you want to be praying alone, or praying together?
*Do you want God holding your marriage together when you have every reason to let go?
* Do you want the God who IS love to embrace your marriage and reigniting love when you thought the spark had died?
A few things I've found helpful in getting over the relationship you're in:
2. Listen to Christian music- It fuels your love for Christ instead of rationalizing your fleshy feelings
3. Get rid of all the things that remind you of your desires for that person, and REPLACE them with things the remind you of what you really want in a mate
(i.e. people that are in godly relationships; godly mentors/role-models; even limit movies and books that over-romanticize relationships)
4. Have your leaders pray for your relationships, as well-God hears the prayers of the righteous (Prov. 15:29)
5. Pray for WISDOM in what to do with the relationship
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