Yesterday, I struggled with CONFRONTATION. Other words and phrases that come to mind are: judging, pride, rules, laws, repentance, brokenness... etc. It is difficult to decipher which are coming from the Lord. People may say anything, but as a Christian, a spiritual leader advised me that I have to go to the Lord with what they said and see which of their words I am to take to heart.
"They may be right (and a bit blunt and spontaneous) or they may be wrong(opinionatedand self-righteous), but either way, you are to love them and forgive them and ask the Lord if you are to take what they say to HEART." Intentions may mean well, but the Bible shows us a Biblical process of refinement and correction.
I can't argue with the things she confronted me with; they are sins, and they are things that I unknowingly do. I'm not mad about her confronting me, i just got upset with the WAY she did it. I also think that doing it "out of love" and because "you love me" are two different things. I think you can Love me, and not do something out of love.
This could be helpful with ANYONE you feel like confronting:
When you confront, your purpose should be to RESTORE, not to break down. Are you patient with God's timing? Are you gentle, patient, and willing to do whatever it takes to help your "brother"? Do you trust God that he alone can change me? Did you pray about confronting me before? Did you feel led by the Holy Spirit to confront me? I've been doing some research and seeking wise counsel on this and finding steps that we can both get better at this: both giving and receiving.
"The confronter’s manner should be MEEK. The opposite of meekness is wrath, passion, or a sense of triumph. “The spirit of meekness” involves gentleness, kindness, compassion, MOURNING OVER SIN, and tenderness."
I think it's better if you said, ' because I love you, God's laid on my heart to confront you about [this]. (I think you shouldnt find joy in the fact you have to confront something, I think it should hurt, but you know it has to be done).
I think a confronter should be someone who has already STRUGGLED WITH AND OVERCAME this particular sin, or someone that hasn't struggled in that area because they have AVOIDED THE THINGS THAT WOULD MAKE THEM STRUGGLE with it, that being said, It would help ME if you said it like this, instead:
I struggled with [sin], realized it was sin by [this] and God changed my heart by making me see it like [this] and then I repented/ stopped doing it by [doing this]. Now, I feel like [this].
If I knew you had prayed about it before, and felt God led YOU to be the one to confront ME, I feel like I could take it better b/c THEN I would know it was out of love, and not your feelings but His word. People willing to confront are rare. It's good that you are WILLING to do it, because it can also be a gift.
"Proverbs 27:6 reminds us that the wounds of a friend are faithful.
It’s better to wound the pride of a brother by telling him he is wrong than to allow him to live unchallenged in his sin."
It’s better to wound the pride of a brother by telling him he is wrong than to allow him to live unchallenged in his sin."
In the process of getting closer to God, you're gonna have to dig deep. When you are pursuing holiness and righteousness, He's gonna go into the deepest, darkest places of your heart. He doesn't want to just throw a rug over all your dirt, he wants to get rid of it! He doesn't want to give you medicine to numb the pain, he wants to make you well!
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