"THAT One vs THE One"

Do any of y'all have that ONE guy in your life that you just can't get over? The one that keeps you chasing him? That one guy that isn't ready for an "exclusive relationship right NOW" but keeps promising later down the road you'll be together? He gives you the butterflies, you smile when you're with him, you cry when you're not; you're excited for the phone to ring, but sad when it's silent; he keeps you hanging on, but you start to wonder if you'll ever be together- like officially, 100%, fairy-tale romance, til-death-do-you-part kind of "together."

(Just for Fun)

That One only calls you when he's drinking. The One calls you when he's thinking about you.

That One tells you how good you look dressed up. The One tells you how good you look in sweats.

That One only comes if you beg and give a reward. The One is already there.

That One will NEVER be who you want him to be. The One will be who you need.

That One will NEVER commit. The One is already saving for a ring.

That One will make you feel barley "good enough." The One will make you feel overly "good enough."

That One will bring you down and leave you there. The One will know it's tough, but work to build each other up.

Part of us want that guy because you have given him so much of yourself- your time, your memories, your dedication, your money, your vulnerability, even your innocence.

Part of us just love the "thrill of the chase" and he's that one guy that keeps us on the move.

Part of us have been through tough relationships. Your family has abandoned you, no one is there to listen, your friends don't really "get" you anymore, and that one guy is your refuge. He's seen your tears, your pain, and he becomes your escape. He's hurt you too, but not NEARLY as bad as everyone else.

Part of us have gone too far with that one guy. He was your FIRST. Even if you didn't give him your heart, you gave him your body in a way that no one else has had, seen, or touched which can be harder to let go and to get back.

We get jealous if he talks to another girl, screen his calls, check his facebook, get angry when he doesn't put us first, hurt when we feel not "good enough" for them to settle down with, and overly attached to something that basically becomes an ADDICTION.

No matter what stage of your life you are in, I want to urge you to guard your heart! Focus on THE one and get rid of THAT one! Young girls, before you have that first kiss, that first boyfriend, that first time becoming vulnerable, that first time giving yourself away.... think about THE one.

I think I can speak for MANY women saying that they wish they had never been with anyone else before they met their husband. Or who wish their husbands had never been with another girl. Even in my own life, I wish I had saved myself for my husband. I wish that my husband had saved himself for me. I wish my future spouse and I would never have to speak of how past relationships "made us this way" or how many struggles we'll have to face to ASSURE each other that past love interests are in the past. I wish I could erase moments where I had given myself to people that weren't worthy...that didn't have my best interest at heart, that didn't care about my feelings, or my hurts that didn't surface until YEARS later.

I wish that we could go into our lifelong relationships with PURE minds, empty of bad memories from that one guy who hurt us and gave us issues with trust. I wish we could enter them with PURE hearts, rid of scars and wounds left by that one who made us feel "not good enough." I wish we could enter with PURE bodies, untouched, clean, and available for the RIGHT lover, the way God intended it to be.

I want to reach the young, and tell them to put their love-lives on hold, to put their main focus all on Jesus, to realize the JOY of having THE one BE that one guy you can't get over...

I can't even imagine the married couples that saved sex for marriage, that guarded their hearts against one-night stands, and temporary flings, that aren't as susceptible to questioning their relationships based on prior love interests. I WISH that women were only TOUCHED by their husbands, that husbands had only SEEN the flesh of their wives, that women were only pursued by their lover, and the lover only pursued ONE wife. I REALLY believe that God's word laid out this plan for love: abstaining from sex until marriage, guarding our hearts, eyes, and minds, not divorcing, working through the good and the bad, to ultimately have the BEST intimacy, the BEST perception of love, the BEST relationship reflection Christ's love for His bride (the church).

I know that there are A LOT of us who have already fallen into the trap of catching THAT ONE GUY. We have already fallen at purity, passion, self-control, etc. And to us I would say, this is by far one of the hardest challenges of YOUR LIFE. WE cannot control our thoughts, memories, feelings, emotions..but WE CAN surrender them to the Lord. We can't read a guide to getting over a relationship (believe me, I've tried) but we CAN read the word... feelings are temporary but we need to focus on the thing that NEVER changes and that is Jesus. His will for our life is always the same. His word is everlasting. He has the same hopes for us today as he did before we fell for this guy. He is bigger than our hearts and He tells us we can trust that. If we cast our cares upon him, he will care for us. He promises healing, restoration, and a love that never dies.

I could go on and on about the things I do to get my mind off "that guy" and onto not only "the one" but the one and only God... but I wanted I really just wanted to write and say WAIT. Wherever you are just WAIT and go back to the truth. See the bigger picture in WHY God tells us to wait for his timing. This isn't a fence to keep you from experiences, it's to keep you safe, happy, and because what you're searching for, the BEST stuff, is inside the pasteur.

"The Bible just isn't for ME"

"For the word of God is living and active." Hebrews 4:12

Earlier today I asked to borrow an expensive camera and the person flat out turned me down. I heard she was splitting the cost with someone and after she said she paid for it herself, I told her to swear to God, because I didn't believe that she paid every cent. I resorted to anger, revenge, and manipulation... obvious characteristics of my "old man." In the past, if I didn't get my way, I would make a way to get it. I realize that that's not how I'm called to be as a Christian. I am supposed to obey, to SUBMIT, to crucify myself, to weigh the costs, to lose the world, and to live according to the WORD.

I stress how our preacher always says "read and pray, pray and read" and to be honest, I hadn't been doing it. I got that prayer part down, but when I want to "read", I normally turn to podcasts, devotionals, or other Christian books to guarantee I "get something out of it" or that it's "translated into something I can identify with", or to "get the full context of the verse."

Well, recently, after hearing a message about how the church should turn us back to God, and our excitement shouldn't just be to hear a great service, but the great service should get us excited to read and pray and be excited about the Lord, I started reading...the Bible.

I didn't know where to start... I feel like I've read it a million times here and there and in bits and pieces... but to at least get the context of the New Testament, I started at Mattew 1:1.

Today after my anger settled down, I picked back up where I had left off in Matthew chapter 5.

²¹"You have heard that it was said to the people long ago, 'Do not murder^" and anyone who murders will be subject to judgment.' ²²But I tell you that anyone who is angry with his brother will be subject to judgment"

OK, great. I'm being reminded that anger incurs judgment just as murder does, and how they are both sin. I kept reading...

²³"Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, ²⁴leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to your brother; then come and offer your gift.

Wonderful. Now I start reading that even if I am bringing something to the Lord (such as my time), I am to leave and be reconciled with the person I was just arguing first. Ouch.

³⁴But I tell you, Do not swear at all: either by heaven, for it is God's throne; ³⁵or by the earth, for it is his footstool; or by Jerusalem, for it is the city of the Great King. ³⁶And do not swear by your head, for you cannot make even one hair white or black.

Ok, seriously!? Could this entire chapter not be about my entire argument I JUST had!?

I was so worried about reading the word and not getting anything out of it, not knowing where to start reading, not identifying with it... and it just so happened that the chapter I read today OVERLY identified with me.

God knows what you need to hear, He just wants you to take that step and open up His word. He wants you to have faith that He will speak to you if you meet with Him. He's written this "love story" to you with how he can and has RESCUED you from hell, lavishes His love and blessings on you, calls you His child, and continues to refine you just as fire purifies gold and makes it beautiful and costly.

And last but not least, the chapter also speaks about the other side of the issue.

⁴²Give to the one who asks you, and do not turn away from the one who wants to borrow from you.

I KNOW that letting someone borrow things doesn't come naturally for ALL of us. Though I felt like ignoring the first 3/4s of the chapter focusing on ME, and shoving this one verse right in the person's face... I KNOW that God wanted me to hear the first 3/4s FIRST to refine me, to humble me, to realize that this isn't even something that's gonna help me add to the Kingdom, so it really shouldn't have made me angry. I think even the last verse speaks to me, because I HATE sharing. It's hard for me to GIVE. But now I'll be reminded that when someone asks ME for something that I have, the WORD tells me to give.

So, I feel like I've learned a million lessons out of this one chapter... out of this book that gets such a wrap for being old, out-dated, dead, something that is hard to read and understand, being over read and pulled out of context... Hebrews reminds us that the Word of God is ALIVE... no matter what generation, what day of the week, what passage you turn to, etc. God is waiting for your time, your commitment, your response, to read the ONLY book that is FROM Him.