"The Bible just isn't for ME"

"For the word of God is living and active." Hebrews 4:12

Earlier today I asked to borrow an expensive camera and the person flat out turned me down. I heard she was splitting the cost with someone and after she said she paid for it herself, I told her to swear to God, because I didn't believe that she paid every cent. I resorted to anger, revenge, and manipulation... obvious characteristics of my "old man." In the past, if I didn't get my way, I would make a way to get it. I realize that that's not how I'm called to be as a Christian. I am supposed to obey, to SUBMIT, to crucify myself, to weigh the costs, to lose the world, and to live according to the WORD.

I stress how our preacher always says "read and pray, pray and read" and to be honest, I hadn't been doing it. I got that prayer part down, but when I want to "read", I normally turn to podcasts, devotionals, or other Christian books to guarantee I "get something out of it" or that it's "translated into something I can identify with", or to "get the full context of the verse."

Well, recently, after hearing a message about how the church should turn us back to God, and our excitement shouldn't just be to hear a great service, but the great service should get us excited to read and pray and be excited about the Lord, I started reading...the Bible.

I didn't know where to start... I feel like I've read it a million times here and there and in bits and pieces... but to at least get the context of the New Testament, I started at Mattew 1:1.

Today after my anger settled down, I picked back up where I had left off in Matthew chapter 5.

²¹"You have heard that it was said to the people long ago, 'Do not murder^" and anyone who murders will be subject to judgment.' ²²But I tell you that anyone who is angry with his brother will be subject to judgment"

OK, great. I'm being reminded that anger incurs judgment just as murder does, and how they are both sin. I kept reading...

²³"Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, ²⁴leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to your brother; then come and offer your gift.

Wonderful. Now I start reading that even if I am bringing something to the Lord (such as my time), I am to leave and be reconciled with the person I was just arguing first. Ouch.

³⁴But I tell you, Do not swear at all: either by heaven, for it is God's throne; ³⁵or by the earth, for it is his footstool; or by Jerusalem, for it is the city of the Great King. ³⁶And do not swear by your head, for you cannot make even one hair white or black.

Ok, seriously!? Could this entire chapter not be about my entire argument I JUST had!?

I was so worried about reading the word and not getting anything out of it, not knowing where to start reading, not identifying with it... and it just so happened that the chapter I read today OVERLY identified with me.

God knows what you need to hear, He just wants you to take that step and open up His word. He wants you to have faith that He will speak to you if you meet with Him. He's written this "love story" to you with how he can and has RESCUED you from hell, lavishes His love and blessings on you, calls you His child, and continues to refine you just as fire purifies gold and makes it beautiful and costly.

And last but not least, the chapter also speaks about the other side of the issue.

⁴²Give to the one who asks you, and do not turn away from the one who wants to borrow from you.

I KNOW that letting someone borrow things doesn't come naturally for ALL of us. Though I felt like ignoring the first 3/4s of the chapter focusing on ME, and shoving this one verse right in the person's face... I KNOW that God wanted me to hear the first 3/4s FIRST to refine me, to humble me, to realize that this isn't even something that's gonna help me add to the Kingdom, so it really shouldn't have made me angry. I think even the last verse speaks to me, because I HATE sharing. It's hard for me to GIVE. But now I'll be reminded that when someone asks ME for something that I have, the WORD tells me to give.

So, I feel like I've learned a million lessons out of this one chapter... out of this book that gets such a wrap for being old, out-dated, dead, something that is hard to read and understand, being over read and pulled out of context... Hebrews reminds us that the Word of God is ALIVE... no matter what generation, what day of the week, what passage you turn to, etc. God is waiting for your time, your commitment, your response, to read the ONLY book that is FROM Him.