Independent Woman

In college I learned that "if you want something done, you've got to do it yourself;" money is our motivation, beauty is how we get things, sex is how we feel intimacy, lust is how we know love, and alcohol is how we become "ourselves."

We get on this power trip trying to become the world's super woman. We want job satisfaction, money that buys us a bmw, we don't need a man because we can do it all by ourselves. From sex to support, we need to be self-sufficient. We even have "parties" that endorse our ability to satisfy ourselves. We can buy what we need, get pleasure on our own, work to fill our time, and live until we die.

This, my friends, is OF THE WORLD. Shocker, huh?!? Everything we are told, everything we strive for, all the songs we sing claiming we are independent women, is OPPOSITE of what God designed for us to be, live, and operate.

Through reading this book "Captivating", listening to this series called "Stand by your Man" by Pastor White,  and learning about a woman through my women's Bible study... I have discovered some things that God desires a woman to be, and here are some of the things I have heard, read, done:

- Men and women are different (duh). But, we were created to become one. We are opposites in just about everything so that when we come together, we COMPLETE each other and the picture that God designed.

- Women aren't supposed to think of SEX like a man thinks of sex. It messes up the equation. I used to feel like if I trained myself to be more like a guy in that way, leaving out emotions and feelings, then I would never get hurt [again]. But God made us emotional, and it ADDS to our marriage.

- Women shouldn't put their careers first. He wants us to have a heart for our family, for our home. That doesn't mean we can't work, but it should never take the place of  our family.

- We are taught to be controlling, and take charge and be independent, but in our relationships, this can de-masculinize our men. If we are soooo dominant, and overpowering, they become afraid to take charge, inadequate, and incapable to satisfy us. God wants us to NEED our husband. After becoming so independent, I looked at the guys I was dating and thought they weren't "man" enough for me. In actuality, I was not the WOMAN I was supposed to be. When I become less controlling, less in charge, less talkative, less critical, or when I SUBMIT (laying down my opinions in order to lift up his) I see this manly, godly man emerge and take back the lead... (and also relieves the stress/pressure).

- We can use EVERYTHING we have for the glory of God. If he gave us a loud mouth, or the gift of leadership, he doesn't mean for us to LEAD over our husbands, but to lead a small group or to share the gospel. If we are controlling, particular, strong, we can advert these characteristics through a business or to enhance the kingdom, if we surrender them to God, and not try to use them to control our partners.

- Beauty is to be unveiled. We shouldn't want to show our body off until we are in the presence of our husbands. If we are in a dating relationship, or engaged, we should keep everything under our clothes, a secret... until we can reveal it on our wedding day. Sometimes I wish I had done a better job of this, even now I get convicted about my clothing choices. But can you imagine the groom's face the first night his beloved is unveiled?? He HAS to be in total awe and excitement!

- Women reflect God's beauty. Each woman, tall/short/skinny/fat/ugly/pretty/ etc reflects the beauty of God. Any time we criticize our own body or someone else's, we are criticizing God himself. We are saying that HIS work his foolish.


These are just some of the things that have been on my mind to share with y'all... they really impacted my life. Just being able to discern the world's ways from God's ways is such a relief and sign of growth! Sometimes if we can just point out that -that way of living is NOT from God, it is easier to steer clear from that. God's way is best.... ALWAYS.

Blogging Goal

I just wanted to note that I am going to get more motivated to keep writing posts. I know that a lot of my entries are lengthy, but I'm going to strive to post more for the next couple weeks. They may be shorter, they may be "less moving", but God's word does not return void! I want to challenge myself to get back in the word, and to post anything I can on what i've learned! So keep checking back!