So...you like your life and don't want to change?

The reason many people don't pursue a deeper relationship with Christ is because, honestly, they like their life. They don't want to change. They're happy with the way things are and they don't see a need for God. They think they can turn their life around later. They love the alcohol, the nights they can't remember, the late night dollar menu trying to sober up, the getting so high and laughing so hard, the waking up in the morning not remembering how you got home, the 'sex goddess' the hookup from the other night named you, the sexual fulfillment, the friends you made, the people you met, and I could go on and on. Sound familiar??

Things are working out fine for you.
Your not dead yet, you're "still young," you want the "experience," there's time to get your life together when you get older. I mean, you go to church on Easter and Christmas, right?
You're a "good person!"
So what is all the fuss about being a "Christian." "All the 'Christians' I know do the same things I do, so what's the difference?"
"God forgives!... right?"

First of all, just because I say I'm "Eva Mendez" doesn't make me her. Or if I say "I'm a model," it doesn't make me a model. Sure I can pose like one and take pictures like one, but I'm not a model. Bottom line: just because people SAY they're a "Christian" doesn't make them a Christian. AKA the people you see that are talkin the talk but aren't walkin the walk, are just as lost. I once heard, that if people REALLY came to know Christ, they would NEVER want to turn away.

Second of all, forgiveness should be followed by REPENTENCE aka hating what you did soooo much, that you never want to do it again; turning from that path to pursue another. There can be a time where God won't forgive you anymore. You can't keep taking advantage of God. He knows your heart. If you're asking forgiveness for the things and you're not really sorry, He knows.


I was up late last night thinking about how lost the world is, how people "play church" (as my pastor says), how close the end is coming, all the prophecies that are coming to pass, and how much potential is being lost by all the people who like their life the way it is.

I think people who like living in sin are ruled by FEAR.
"fear involves torment" (1John 4:18) aka worry; torture; suffering; mental distress
They are scared of unwanted pregnancy, yet they are scared to live a life of purity;
they are scared of a fatal car crash due to driving drunk, but they are scared to live a life of sobriety.
They are scared that if they don't get just a little more cocaine, they can't get through the pain,
yet they are scared to FEEL it temporarily in order to be healed.

They are scared of who they are when they are sober.
They are scared of what friends they would lose if they chose a different lifestyle.
They are scared of how much less "beautiful" and "confident" they would feel,
if they quit having sex with every guy that made them feel special.
They are scared of loneliness on the weekends and the parties they'd miss out on.
It is easier to keep living THAT life, than to change.
Staying the same requires nothing of you.

I finally started to notice that I liked myself better after a couple drinks. I would hear stories the next day about how funny I was, and the stupid things I did. I started to think that everyone liked me better when I wasn't sober. Guys liked girls better when they weren't saying "no" all the time. All these are lies from Satan.

He ultimately wants to destroy you, take your joy, and put you in your grave.
He wants to do everything he can to slowly turn up the heat, making you feel like you're not "so bad",
until you burn to death and never knew what hit you.

By now, you all know that I haven't been pursuing holiness and righteousness and desiring God forever... so I can relate! BUT I also know now, that I regret living THIS life sooner! In the end, EVERY knee will bow and EVERY tongue will confess that Jesus Christ is Lord.. you can wait and be put there by force or do it now, by choice. You may not really fully know if God is real, but if he wasn't, so what? Nothing happens to us. BUT if He is, and YOU'RE wrong, that's your ETERNITY.

I don't think people even know what heaven is really going to be like. I bet many picture getting wings, floating with a harp, singing hymns for a million years. The Bible says that:

"No eye has seen,
no ear has heard,
no mind has conceived
what God has prepared for those who love him" (1 Cor. 2:9).

Also, the Bible says that every good and perfect gift is from God. So think about the most beautiful thing on earth- it's nothing like what's in heaven. The happiest you ever felt... nope! Nothing like the feeling you will have up there... with NO MORE TEARS! The best party of your life?... Doesn't even compare to Heaven.

My pastor, Loran Livingston, told us a passage, last Sunday, about the curse of sin on this Earth. Even ALL of creation is covered by it. The verse says ALL CREATION groans (Romans 8:22) and eagerly awaits the Lord's return. Everything was made to glorify God, and creation can't even live up to their potential after the fall of mankind. Then Jesus will return making a new kingdom, lifting the curse of sin. We will finally see all of creation in its true beauty. The things we thought were beautiful, are not even close to their potential. We aren't going to be floating on a boring cloud... we are going to be living a brand new, evil-free, sin-free life!


Move from FEAR and into security. Have confidence in your sober self. Find love that lasts through the morning. You don't REALLY experience Life to its fullest without knowing the God who GAVE it to you! You were created to KNOW Christ and to MAKE HIM KNOWN... you are merely exisiting if you are not even TRYING to fulfill your purpose. Live CAREFREE before God. It is when you are pursuing righteousness, holiness, purity, and sobriety that you lose fear and truely ENJOY life to its fullest! Why boast in the temporary things of this world, when you could be storing up treasures in heaven (Matt. 6:20)!

I hope at some point in your life, you'll feel the water getting warm. I see so much potential for this generation! I wish I could sit down with every reader and tell you what you could do with your life that would bring more fulfillment than you could ever know! I wish that when people were looking for friends, they were looking for people that genuinely love them. I wish when people start realizing they like themselves better when they're on drugs or drunk, they would choose to drink from the Spirit of Life. I wish when girls wanted to feel beautiful, they could look to their Father. I wish people would look up, BEFORE they hit rock bottom!

But most of all, I wish people would take a good hard look at this life they think they like and evaluate if they REALLY do.

Evaluate the costs of giving up what you have
for the benefits of gaining something that you cannot lose!
(Matt. 16:26)

Unequally Yoked

2Corinthians 6:14-18

"Don't become partners with those who reject God.

How can you make a partnership out of right and wrong?

That's not partnership; that's war.

Is light best friends with dark? Does Christ go strolling with the Devil?

Do trust and mistrust hold hands?

Who would think of setting up pagan idols in God's holy Temple?

But that is exactly what we are, each of us a temple in whom God lives. God himself put it this way:

"I'll live in them, move into them;

I'll be their God and they'll be my people.

So leave the corruption and compromise;

leave it for good," says God.

"Don't link up with those who will pollute you.

I want you all for myself.

I'll be a Father to you;

you'll be sons and daughters to me."

The Word of the Master, God."

This is a tough one to touch on, not because it isn't clearly stated in the Bible, but because it is the hardest battle I rarely win. Since I'm not in a relationship right now, I can speak out of a pure heart. I have undoubtedly been down this road time and time again, and it is the hardest when you are already in the relationship. We argue that the guy we are dating IS a Christian, but let me say that #1 if they're not constantly seeking a deeper relationship with Christ or #2 Bearing good "fruit" (Galations 5:22-23), you can assume the guy you're dating is NOT a Christian. I will probably be stepping on some toes to say this, as well, but if YOU are not doing these things, you may assume that YOU might not be the Christian you call yourself, either. "If you can't say 'Amen' say 'Ouch'." This is in no way meant to condemn people b/c I'VE BEEN THERE TOO and have a weakness towards it, but also there is no condemnation in Jesus. If you don't feel "convicted" then maybe it's NOT MEANT TO. This reading is for people who ARE Christians, and are curious about why we really should only be dating believers or curious about how to get over someone that is not.

I also understand that the world has corrupted our view of relationships. They tend to give us hope that bad relationships can turn good, ungodly husbands get saved, and that we are lucky enough to score a nice cute guy at all, in this world of players. My sis said it best, "It doesn't matter if he treats you like a Queen, if he doesn't serve the King."

So, here it goes: Why should I only date Christians? (btw, This is my personal opinion)
1. Love
2. Trust
3. Blessings
4. Future

Love is a big thing I am learning. "Love can conquer a multitude of sins." After reading my testimony, it is not hard to believe that Satan would start making me feel "unworthy" of a "good christian guy." I made myself believe that I only wanted a bad boy. The image that I pictured of "Christian guys" was to be honest and blunt, a nerdy, ugly, needy, guy; easily pushed over; offended by my life-style; and ashamed of my past. When my parents asked why I wasn't interested in the guys that were "good" for me, this is what popped up in my head. I was so scared to tell my mom the things that I had done, but the Bible says to "confess your sins, so that you may be HEALED." To my surprise, she still lavished me with love. She FORGAVE me and said that nothing I could do would stop making her love me. It was in that instant, I found that it is God that gives the power to Love, because He in fact, IS love. A godly guy can love you, REALLY love you, because he personally knows love, forgiveness, and grace. You may have "fell in love" but God is the only one that can keep you from falling out of what you fell in to.


Trust issues are very prevalent in this untrustworthy world. Your "word" is no longer good enough. When you are saved, God gives you the Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit is greater than the most benevolent person's conscience. He tells you when you should guard your eyes, your heart, your flesh, your mind, and anything else that may cause you to stumble. Non Christians DON'T have this. They won't be convicted if they are going against God's word. They won't be convicted if their eyes wander to the cute waitress instead of looking at the most beautiful thing in the room [You]. Sure, you may find a great guy, that wants to give you the world, but let's face it, EVERYONE is tempted; and people don't always think with their head. How much greater will you TRUST a guy, if they are constantly being led by the Spirit; If they "feel bad" when they are about to do something that may hurt your relationship; or if they know that they have to be held accountable to God for every thing they do and say!

Who doesn't want blessings? From your earthly father's blessing to your heavenly Father's blessing, we want it all, right? Prov. 8: 32 "..Blessed the man, blessed the woman, who listens to me, awake and ready for me each morning..."; Prov. 10:22 "God's blessing makes life rich..."; Deut. 30:6 "And I command you today: Love God, your God. Walk in his ways. Keep his commandments, regulations, and rules so that you will live, really live, live exuberantly, blessed by God..." We gain God's blessing, our family's blessing, and our friends blessing, if we keep His commandments. I want a guy that I can take home and my parents will say, 'He's the One,' with a SMILE! I want my mentors and friends to have no argument when I find the godly guy that was made just for me. In not being unequally yoked, you are doing what God says, and in turn, you will be blessed for doing so. In this economy, where nothing is permanent, who couldn't afford a little more blessing!?

OK, so you're dating just "for fun." Roller-coasters are "fun", movies are "fun", sky diving is "fun," these things were meant for you to come, enjoy, and leave wanting to come back for more "fun." I don't think dating should have the purpose of enjoying for a moment when all the while you know you'll leave. Or making sacrifices and memories that will be in your head forever. Or giving pieces of yourself and your heart that were meant to be entirely for your husband, to someone that is only a temporary fling. I think you should be dating for a purpose. Actually, I love the whole idea of 'courting'. "Not arousing or awakening love, until it so desires" aka waiting until you are actually ready for commitment, ready to find the love of your life, and able to do so. Either way, your FUTURE is another factor in who you date. From your wedding ceremony til death do you part, your faith will play huge role.

Christians are joined together by God, when they are married. We've mentioned love, trust, faithfulness, blessings, but when a marriage is created, joined, and directed by God, you are looking at one that is everlasting. It is especially important in how you raise your children. When the husband and wife are following God's plans for how to raise their children, they will be in sync, harmonious, and more effective leaders in their household.

This man was at church sunday, with his young daughter and son. The sermon was on love and marriage. I couldn't help but wonder why the mom wasn't there.

Were they divorced?

Was she sick?

Did he come because he HAD to?

Was he a widow?

At the altar call, he darted down to the front with a solemn look on his face. The two kids watched their dad change his life forever. Whether he was coming for salvation, coming to make a new commitment to be a godly man, or to just pray, he made me think about the type of man I want to be my future husband and the father of my future children.

Women I know, talk about how their husband chooses to sit on the front row so they won't be distracted by any other woman, person, or thing. Another godly leader never hesitates to sing loud, sit and pray while everyone's standing, or raise his hands and tell the preacher to "come on!" Women in my Bible study on becoming a Godly woman, talk about how their husbands are in the other rooms learning how to become a godly man. Another woman in my Bible study prays for her husband's salvation every week, while praying for her patience and letting us know how hard it is, but also how committed she is to their marriage.

*What do you want YOUR future to be like?

*Do you want to be on the same page with your spouse?

*Do you want to discipline your children according to God's word and train them up in the ways of the Lord, as the Bible instructs?

*Do you want to be alone at church on sunday, while your spouse chooses to sleep in and then get drunk for the game?

*Do you want to be praying alone, or praying together?

*Do you want God holding your marriage together when you have every reason to let go?

* Do you want the God who IS love to embrace your marriage and reigniting love when you thought the spark had died?

A few things I've found helpful in getting over the relationship you're in:

1. Pray for God to take away your desire for them (i.e. "God, change me or change him")

2. Listen to Christian music- It fuels your love for Christ instead of rationalizing your fleshy feelings

3. Get rid of all the things that remind you of your desires for that person, and REPLACE them with things the remind you of what you really want in a mate

(i.e. people that are in godly relationships; godly mentors/role-models; even limit movies and books that over-romanticize relationships)

4. Have your leaders pray for your relationships, as well-God hears the prayers of the righteous (Prov. 15:29)

5. Pray for WISDOM in what to do with the relationship

MY TESTIMONY "He who walks with integrity walks securely" Proverbs 10:9

This morning, I had one of those "God moments," where suddenly you have a realization of where God's hand was in a situation. I was trying to think back to defining moments of why I decided to give up certain habits and addictions and live like God wanted me to. I couldn't think of anything in particular... it seems like one giant process!

Since I was saved when I was younger, I started going deeper in my relationship with Christ. All the way up until high school, I was constantly pursuing God's will for my life. I was involved with Bible Studies, Discipleship Groups, Witnessing, Praying, using my talents in the Drama and Vocal Teams at church, Daily Devotions, taking up Leadership positions at my Christian School, True Love Waits Program, etc. I knew that God had saved me, but since I had known His goodness so long, I wanted to know what was I being "saved" from? That was probably the most ridiculous request ever! Who asks to be burned so they can know why they are supposed to stay away from the fire? I guess its not completely absurd, but it does show immaturity and lack of wisdom. Be careful what you pray for.

When I decided to step out of God's provision, partaking of the things this world had to offer, I think it was fueled by broken relationships. 2 of my close friends died in a car wreck, followed by a couple other friends and I had never dealt with DEATH before; my unbelievable youth pastor was led to another state; I decided to go to public school where I missed out on the Godly environment and friends that I had at private school. I didn't want to feel the pain. I had been teased for being a "cry baby" before, so I didn't want to shed any tears. I didn't want to lull on the fact maybe I could have done or said something different. I buried it deep down.

Somehow, and I believe through the prayers of my family and the foundation I had had, I always had hope that things wouldn't be like this forever. When Jesus said he gives you "a hope and a future, " I believe that. In high school, I lost my purity in so many ways. I became addicted to alcohol, weed, prescription drugs and street drugs. I was trying to find anything to give me a "good feeling" and when that one ended, I didn't want to face pain, I just wanted to reach for another "good feeling". I didn't wanna man-up and face the pain and shed the tears, in fact I didn't even know at the time how broken I was. I had fun doing those things, but it also brought FEAR.

I had so many close calls to death and so many lies to cover it up. I honestly had no idea how close to death I was, I thought I was "living." I thought I was "happy." And even as I think about it now, I have no reason, other than God, why I desired to get out of Charlotte, to go to college, and to quit the lifestyle I had become enslaved to. That hope and future He had given me long ago, resonated with me even when I chose the darkness over the light. He even gave me dreams that stood as metaphors of being on the road to death and the only way to life was by being rescued, by Christ. They impacted me so much. When God wants to get your attention, He will. He will even use DREAMS to get it! I saw the light at the end of the tunnel, that if I just got to college, I could start over. I COULD GET AWAY FROM THE TEMPTATIONS AND THE ACCESSIBILITY.

Finally, I made it to COLLEGE. Freedom! Right?! No? People in college still drink and smoke. College was like a roller coaster, wanting to be the party girl on Friday night and the church girl on Sunday. Each semester was different. My second year, I struggled with alcohol the most. I thought, compared to the things I USED to do, alcohol wasn't nearly as bad. Then it became drinking til I blacked-out, I only wanted to do stuff if I could drink before, and I got angry when I couldn't drink. I tried doing a few drugs again, but it wasn't the same. I thought I was going to die. It was like the millionth time I'd taken it, but the first experience that wasn't a "good feeling." I thought 'I'm going to have to go to the ER and then my parents are going to find out their daughter died from drugs'. It scared me so much that I vowed NEVER to do that again. The "good feeling" I could give myself was just as scary as the pain I'd been trying to hide. It wasn't a sure thing anymore. It wasn't reliable.Then I got involved with a church/ college ministry called Campus Outreach, mainly because of a guy I liked. Everything I did, I told myself I was doing it for God, but I was really doing it for the guy I liked. Everything is temporary, unless it comes from Christ.

I was a yo-yo "Christian." Another couple friends died, people I didn't even know if they were Christians. I felt guilty because I felt like if I had been living, loving, and sharing the gospel, maybe it wouldn't have happened. Or at least I would have KNOWN they were in heaven. There's nothing harder than hearing a preacher at a funeral saying well "they are in a better place," when the fact is they're not. You're never going to see them again because you had the opportunity to tell them about Christ and His love and you DIDN'T. It gave me even more of a reason to forget about God. I thought if my lifestyle matched the world's, I could run from the blame of knowing hope and eternal life and not sharing. The devil filled my mind with SO MANY LIES!

After yet another broken relationship with a guy of 3 years, more lies of Satan breaking down my self-image and self-worth, I was on the verge of suicide. Alcohol fuels emotions to be stronger, more irrational, and takes you out of control of your own body. One night, I thought it would be my last. I went to a bar with the intentions of leaving and crashing my car. I had literally lost all hope, all self-worth, all love, all control, and God sent a friend of mine to act on His behalf. My friend said he KNEW I would be there and that he was supposed to come. He talked to me for hours in the parking lot telling me I deserved better, that sometimes I need to say "Thy Will Be Done" and let things go. He reminded me that God had better things planned for me. I left that night with the intentions now, of not ENDING my life but CHANGING my life.

From that point on, I sought counseling, got back in church, and cut back my drinking habits. I began to see that living in sin was living in FEAR. You have to worry if you drink and drive and get in a car wreck, you have to worry about being pregnant or STDs, you have to worry about losing friends because you hooked up with their boyfriend, you have to worry about your secrets finding you out and spreading all over campus, you have to worry about if you were to go to the hospital because of a drug you took that your parents would be so hurt that you CHOSE to take the drugs. People are dying all over of things they can't control: war, cancer, disease, crime, yet, WE CHOOSE to do things that take the days and years off our lives. You have to worry about who would be the daughter to your mother, the daddy's girl to your father, the best friend to your sister, the lover of your dog, the listener to your friends, the wife of your future husband, if something happened to you!

I started praying for WISDOM. I wanted to know what I was supposed to do to change my life and DO IT. I started praying that I would desire going to church more than drinking and that God would take away the desires I had for the things of this world, because I know I couldn't give them up on my own. Was it hard when people called wanting me to go out, and I had to ignore the call? YES! Was it difficult when the guy I thought I "loved" wanted to come spend the night and I had to act like I was dating someone else? YES! Was it sad and lonely spending time by myself sometimes? YES! But I saw a light at the end of the tunnel, that after graduation and moving out of Myrtle Beach I could go HOME. I could go back and be surrounded by my family that had been PRAYING for me to turn back and that they would REJOICE in my return, as the prodigal's father rejoiced at his son's return.

Moving back to Charlotte, I made a goal to stop drinking, to HEAL from the broken relationships, to find FREEDOM from the fears and lies, and to be RESTORED. I read Beth Moore's 'Breaking Free', and then her book, 'Get Out of That Pit.' I avoided places of temptation. I put my focus on other things like finding a career and fitness. I joined a Bible study for women that was starting in the fall. I realized the importance of accountability, but also the importance of WANTING, CRAVING, AND NEEDING CHRIST for yourself. I started memorizing verses and posting them up to remind me of the scripture's TRUTH. The Bible says that when it comes to the path of the wicked, you are to "Avoid it, do not travel on it; turn from it and go on your way." (Prov. 4:15). I avoided going out, I changed my number to avoid past relationship temptations, I avoided friends that wanted to party and drink, I avoided alcohol. In avoiding stumbling blocks, I went through valleys of loneliness, anger, confusion, hopelessness, etc. BUT in MY brokenness and weakness, the Lord became my confidence and strength! I started to find that my desires changed and I wanted His desires for my life.

My Bible study served as another light of hope. A connection with other believers; a mentor; godly fellowship; and people that would pray on my behalf (Prov. 15:29 "The LORD is far from the wicked but he hears the prayer of the righteous."). Also, I wanted to fill my time completely, because I find that it is easier to stumble in times of idleness. The Bible Study taught me Satan's lies and how to go to God's word for the truth. In my quiet times, I started realizing all the PERSONAL lies Satan had told me through other people, through circumstances, etc. And when I went to God's truth about it, I began to see I do have worth, I do have a purpose, I am beautiful, I can receive blessings, I do deserve a Godly husband, I can be restored, and many more things He is still reminding me today! I also learned that everyone is a new creature when they are saved. I can pinpoint things of my "old nature" that I struggle with more: lust, jealousy, anger, pride, self-image, patience and find ways to removing what makes my stumble, and realize that that's not who I am in Christ, because I am a NEW CREATION.

I learned that "I can't behave my way into a relationship with Christ, and I can't misbehave my way out of it, either." Christ isn't hesitant to call me his child again, He LONGS to do that! When you go off the path, the moment you choose to follow Christ again, He carves a way back to it. People who love God and have God in them, can love like God. They can love you past your pain, love you in spite of your sin, love you no matter where you've been and where you're going. While they're love may not always seem evident, God's love NEVER FAILS; it's NEVER TEMPORARY.

In this, I found new names that I can call God and know exactly WHY. When I sought freedom from addiction, He gave me DELIVERANCE; when I was broken from failed relationships, He was my RESTORER; when I was lonely, He became the LOVER OF MY SOUL; when I thought that I was nothing, he became my REDEEMER; when I was weak, He became my STRENGTH; when I was the one sheep that strayed, He was the SHEPHERD that came to find me; when I thought all was lost and at the end of my rope, He was my RESCUER; when I sought direction, He became my HOPE. When I was scared, He became my REFUGE.

I now know what I was saved FROM and I never want to return to that place again. I've seen the darkness and I love living in the light. I've felt what it feels to live in fear, and now I love God's provision. When I used to think the gate around me was restraining me, I now see that it was protecting me. The other day, I picked up this verse on a little slip of paper out of a basket at the YMCA, "He who walks with integrity walks securely." (Prov. 10:9). The biggest change after going through all that, is knowing that when you are following God's will, you won't be fearful. When you are loving Him, you want to obey Him; when you're obeying Him you don't have anything to worry about. When your life is in His hands, you are secure. It is so much better dying to LIVE than Living to Die, and I want to live for eternity. I also know now that I may be the last chance someone has to hear about God, and I don't want to EVER question again if I was living and sharing God's word with my friends.

If I went through ALL this to change ONE life, it was worth it!

"A Quick Fix Doesn't Get You Well"

Recently, I have been faced with things that drive me straight to the Bible... and I LOVE it! I love knowing that you don't have to wonder what the truth is, you don't have to rely on people for correct answers, and nowadays, it's really convenient to open God's word.

Yesterday, I struggled with CONFRONTATION. Other words and phrases that come to mind are: judging, pride, rules, laws, repentance, brokenness... etc. It is difficult to decipher which are coming from the Lord. People may say anything, but as a Christian, a spiritual leader advised me that I have to go to the Lord with what they said and see which of their words I am to take to heart.

"They may be right (and a bit blunt and spontaneous) or they may be wrong(opinionatedand self-righteous), but either way, you are to love them and forgive them and ask the Lord if you are to take what they say to HEART." Intentions may mean well, but the Bible shows us a Biblical process of refinement and correction.

I can't argue with the things she confronted me with; they are sins, and they are things that I unknowingly do. I'm not mad about her confronting me, i just got upset with the WAY she did it. I also think that doing it "out of love" and because "you love me" are two different things. I think you can Love me, and not do something out of love.

This could be helpful with ANYONE you feel like confronting:
When you confront, your purpose should be to RESTORE, not to break down. Are you patient with God's timing? Are you gentle, patient, and willing to do whatever it takes to help your "brother"? Do you trust God that he alone can change me? Did you pray about confronting me before? Did you feel led by the Holy Spirit to confront me? I've been doing some research and seeking wise counsel on this and finding steps that we can both get better at this: both giving and receiving.

"The confronter’s manner should be MEEK. The opposite of meekness is wrath, passion, or a sense of triumph. “The spirit of meekness” involves gentleness, kindness, compassion, MOURNING OVER SIN, and tenderness."

I think it's better if you said, ' because I love you, God's laid on my heart to confront you about [this]. (I think you shouldnt find joy in the fact you have to confront something, I think it should hurt, but you know it has to be done).

I think a confronter should be someone who has already STRUGGLED WITH AND OVERCAME this particular sin, or someone that hasn't struggled in that area because they have AVOIDED THE THINGS THAT WOULD MAKE THEM STRUGGLE with it, that being said, It would help ME if you said it like this, instead:

I struggled with [sin], realized it was sin by [this] and God changed my heart by making me see it like [this] and then I repented/ stopped doing it by [doing this]. Now, I feel like [this].

If I knew you had prayed about it before, and felt God led YOU to be the one to confront ME, I feel like I could take it better b/c THEN I would know it was out of love, and not your feelings but His word. People willing to confront are rare. It's good that you are WILLING to do it, because it can also be a gift.

"Proverbs 27:6 reminds us that the wounds of a friend are faithful.
It’s better to wound the pride of a brother by telling him he is wrong than to allow him to live unchallenged in his sin."

In the process of getting closer to God, you're gonna have to dig deep. When you are pursuing holiness and righteousness, He's gonna go into the deepest, darkest places of your heart. He doesn't want to just throw a rug over all your dirt, he wants to get rid of it! He doesn't want to give you medicine to numb the pain, he wants to make you well!

"Does anybody see her?"

"Does anybody hear her?
Can anybody see?
Or does anybody even knows
she's going down today
Under the shadow of our steeple
with all the lost and lonely people
Searching for the hope that's tucked away in you and me
Does anybody hear her?
Can anybody see?

She is yearning
for shelter and affection,
that she never found at home
She is searching
for a hero to ride in,
to ride in and save the day
And in walks her prince charming
and he knows just what to say
Momentary lapse of reason
and she gives herself away"

How often are we quick to point out flaws? To place judgements? To be silent when we know we should reach out? To be comfortable where we are?

I love this Casting Crowns song (above). It is related to me time and time again. There are so many people that are waiting for people to notice the GOOD in them. In a world full of hate, it is so easy to let the world get to you. For Christians, at least you know there is a God that can redirect your thoughts to Him and comfort you with his love. For people who aren't Christians, you may be the only chance they connect with God, but you also may be the LAST. There have been plenty of times that I have sat in a pew, wishing that someone, anyone, would just remind me that God loves me (genuinely, not the pastor telling someone to). There have also been plenty of times that I have felt the Holy Spirit move me to encourage someone else. There are plenty of things the world offers to fill us temporarily. Anywhere we look the world is advertising what will make us happy and make us complete. Let us be reminded that this world is not our final destination. Let us be the ones who are pointing to the only thing that can truly meet your need and fill your void. 

Let us catch those who are searching or filling empty and point them to the restorer, the healer, the lover of our souls. Let us also be reminded that it's not about calling out each others sin, it's not about placing blame, it's about grace! It's about focusing on heaven! When we will shed no more tears and feel no more pain. Let us be encouragers! 

"And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward LOVE and good deeds. Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, BUT LET US ENCOURAGE ONE ANOTHER- and all the more as you see the Day approaching"!! (Hebrews 10:24-25)

"Blessed are the pure in heart"

I'm listening to a podcast from a CharlotteONE meeting I missed on virginity vs purity.

A couple who saved their virginity for marriage tell a story in a way i've never heard it. It's not condescending, not a lesson on "how far is too far", but a genuine heart-felt talk about what God intended for us when he created sex to be within a marriage.

First of all, I've learned recently that ALL guys want to have sex with you, whether the girl is attractive, or unattractive, they will still have that desire. My sis said "it is up to you to be the one to say no, and the ones that stick around after all the 'no's' will be the one worth keeping."

It's hard for me to hear other "Christians" talk about sex and relationships, because I've never had a godly relationship like that. I'm thinking, they have no idea what they're asking me to do! Or if it's that EASY for them than they must not even have desires. In my past, I programmed my mind to think like a guy... to separate the sexual side from the emotional side... so I thought. Since females, are programmed to have feelings and emotions, I guess I just suppressed the feelings for as long as I could. Now, I'm on a journey to give up past habits, my lustful desires, my temporary crushes, to find what God has for me- A pursuit of purity.

"God cares less about my virginity, than he does about my purity"

People see God as the God of "Don't have sex... that's the law." They see the line of the physical act of sex and are told not to cross it. Virginity is about avoiding Sex and Purity is about a pursuit; something that you are moving towards. Virginity ends at marriage. Virginity is about the physical ACT of sex. Purity is every ounce of you. At the end of the day virginity is about ME- me not having sex. Purity is about God. Virginity is a piece of purity. You can be a virgin and have an impure heart.

Purity is when you desire God more than the physical satisfaction.

In the Jarrett and Jeanne Stevens talk, SHE says, "That magnetic desire was red hot." You rarely hear about Christian WOMEN talking about struggling with desires, so for those of us that do, we feel wrong, alone, or that you're not supposed to have a desire like that in a godly relationship. But God knew there would be tension in the waiting. He wanted us to choose Him over our desires, not that we won't have them.

"our sexuality and our emotions were designed to be connected" You aren't supposed to put them in separate categories. Now I realize that those relationships break you because they were designed to go together within a marriage between a husband and a wife.

Matthew 5:8 says "Blessed are the PURE in heart for they will SEE GOD"
not "blessed are those who remain virgins."
"Blessed= Special= You are CALLED"

God wants you to see HIM in this struggle, in this pursuit. And in seeing Him, you will see temptation for what it is, see the empty promises, see God enough to love someone more than your own physical desires.

Jarrett gives this Analogy of Broken China Plates glued back together. Some of the shattered pieces were glued back together so well, that you couldn't even tell they had been broken. God wants us to hand over our pieces, whether chipped or completely shattered.

BROKENNESS:
things that we do shatter the image of purity, AND things that are done to us.
A quiet lie that edges in and fills your thought-life. It takes away from the beauty of sex. It has skewed your sexual image of yourself and of God. It breaks God's heart that someone else's sin would cause pain in your life.
Images, movies, etc are eroding your purity.

God is able to restore

Psalm 147:3- He Heals the Broken-Hearted

Love and sex are designed to be together within a marriage. Our desires are very strong and controlling. How great will it be when you find someone who LOVES you enough to suppress those desires only through their love for God.

"Sex is not supposed to be a selfish thing.
Love someone MORE than your own physical desires."

God longs to restore you, to heal you. He wants you to offer him your broken pieces and cracks, because he WILL restore you.
He brings life out of death and restoration out of brokenness. He is the Healer. He heals our fears, he heals the kinds of things that we don't want anyone to know about, he heals those secrets, he heals the lies, he heals the shame, he heals where we have even justified our actions. He heals those cracks. He puts those pieces back together through his love and grace. He is the God of freedom, redemption, wholeness, restoration, hope, peace, forgiveness. I want you to be pure so that you can SEE me and recognize me and that when I put back the pieces they reflect the image of God. It's more than holding on to your virginity, it's wanting to SEE GOD.

"See God in the struggle of remaining pure."

"Frenemies"

All of my "friends" canceled for my birthday get-together. This wasn't totally unexpected, they had been canceling pretty much every time we planned to hang out. I made a new goal of meeting new people and finding Godly friends that were dependable, and even those aspirations failed, when I didn't get any invitations to hang out the following weekend, either! Even my family was going to be out of town on my birthday weekend!

I suddenly noticed how alone I felt. I got angry, but then I realized that this wasn't any thing I've done, but rather a spiritual battle. Satan was attacking me, feeding me LIES that 'I should never trust anyone because they will always let you down,' 'you will always be lonely,' 'if you started doing worldly things maybe you would have friends,' 'no one cares about your birthday, not even your family..' these are all things I felt!

I have finally learned that once you realize you're being attacked by satans lies, you should go to God's truth, His Word. So, at work, I started typing in keywords of "dependable," and "friendship" to find verses in the online Bible that would make my friends look like the one at fault. After a while, I remembered hearing that God may be holding blessings for you and Satan is trying to keep you from them. I changed my search to focus more on my spiritual battle within ME, not my friends and here is what I found:

2 Corinthians 12:7-10 (The Message)

"Satan's angel did his best to get me down; what he in fact did was push me to my knees. No danger then of walking around high and mighty! My grace is enough; it's all you need.
My strength comes into its own in your weakness.
Once I heard that, I was glad to let it happen. I quit focusing on the handicap and began appreciating the gift. It was a case of Christ's strength moving in on my weakness...
...Now I take limitations in stride, and with good cheer, these limitations that cut me down to size—abuse, accidents, opposition, bad breaks. I just let Christ take over! And so the weaker I get, the stronger I become."

"…because they cried out to him during the battle. God answered their prayers because they trusted him" (1 Chronicles 5:20)

Duet. 20:2-4
…"Attention, Israel. In a few minutes you're going to do battle with your enemies. Don't waver in resolve. Don't fear. Don't hesitate. Don't panic. God, your God, is right there with you, fighting with you against your enemies, fighting to win."…

After I went to the word, I sent out an e-mail to the women in my Circle of Pearls Bible study and the replies over-flowed with encouragement, wisdom, and truth. Their prayers gave me the immediate result of PEACE.

My leaders came by, brought me a cake, balloon and present! They also prayed with me. It is awesome not only knowing people are praying for you, but HEARING their words.

They reminded me that the work I am doing is eternal, lonliness won't last forever, and that my future husband won't be "a minute late or a minute early, but right on time."

I am so thankful that the Lord does want to bless me and that he revealed to me HOW he has, in the FRIENDS he lifted up and brought to meet my need in the midst of a battle that was not my own, when I turned to HIS truth before I let Satan's LIE defeat me!