“I should have been dead”

       Every thing you do as a sinner brings you closer to death. Every addiction that entangles you, every captivity, every stronghold, every grueling secret, every failed attempt at being better brings you down further and further. Depression sets in. The feeling of hopelessness is overwhelming. You’re one cigarette away from lung cancer, you’re one french fry away from a heart attack. You’re one drink away from a drunk car accident. You’re one pill away from your last breath. 

It’s not just you... you surround yourself with people battling these same afflictions. We CHOOSE to do these things, we CHOOSE to blame our addictions on our family, we CHOOSE to spiral out of control on a one way journey straight to the grave.

And guess what, that’s EXACTLY what Satan wants. He wants you to suffer and call it fun. He wants you to be in darkness and feel comfortable. He wants you to abandon everything good and find satisfaction in temporary pleasures. He wants you to chase after the things that make you feel good and then watch your soul rot, your heart turn cold, and find yourself alone.

I came to this realization a couple years ago. That everything I did was leading me closer and closer to death. I hung out with people that not only encouraged it, but found company in misery. I felt bound by my sin... entangled.

I told my parents so many lies that I could barely keep them straight. I took so many pills that were laced with every kind of drug, that sometimes I had no idea what was in my body. I downed liquor bottles, positive that my blood alcohol levels were deathly. I fought to drive my car countless times, or developed schemes on how to steal my keys back just so I could get somewhere, just to wake up the next morning and have no recollection of how I got home. I’ve watched countless friends die, or on the verge of death, or ruin their futures from drinking too much, driving hopeless, or overtaken by drugs. I’ve seen so many things I can’t erase from my memory. AND YOU call THAT “LIVING”?

“I should have been dead, but i’m sitting here today.” Pastor Loran Livingston said a couple Sundays ago. I couldn’t agree more. I, Brittany Boone, should have been dead... but I am ALIVE. There is HOPE, there is a PURPOSE for me because of that. There is a REASON that the Giver of LIFE, LOVED me enough to rescue me from that road of death, made me new, and set me on the road toward Life, the road towards a future. The road toward FREEDOM, the road towards purpose, towards hope, towards beauty, towards fulfillment. 

If you’re running, I’ve been there. It seems SO hard to give up the life your living, to face guilt, to ask for forgiveness, to lose, to face your past. But it is SO worth it! God has not made me feel “condemned” about the things I’ve done, but He has broken me down and repaired me. He has healed cracks I never thought would feel whole again. He has restored relationships I never thought could mend. He has blessed me beyond belief. It’s like everything I do now is getting me somewhere, somewhere I’m not ashamed to be. I’m set free. 

       I’m turning from a lifestyle that was consumed with myself, and I’m becoming a better FRIEND. I’m giving up sacrificing my body, to have a committed relationship with a guy who genuinely loves me, and respecting our desires to stay pure. I’m letting nights of partying go, to invest in my family.

Everything good and perfect comes from God. Love comes from God. Life everlasting only comes from Him... the things you’re trying to find out of life, by using the world’s methods is not getting you anywhere. If you find it a surprise that YOU should have been dead, but yet you find yourself ALIVE, maybe you should decide that NOW is the time to start actually LIVING.

James 1:16-17

“So, my very dear friends, don't get thrown off course. Every desirable and beneficial gift comes out of heaven.”

Psalm 30:2-3

“God, my God, I yelled for help and you put me together. God, you pulled me out of the grave, gave me another chance at life”

Romans 8:1 "Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus"