"Wasted Years"

Growing up, we think it is ridiculously hard being a good christian. It's difficult even as we are older to preach and teach "Holy living" to younger people because even though we know WHY we SHOULD, we can't imagine ourselves at that age living the way we are telling them to live.

We say well the Bible says "this" about dating, says "that" about partying, says "this" about gossip and the way that we treat others... but in the back of our mind, we think, 'gosh, there is NO way I could have let that love go, or avoided that invitation, or not drank at that bar, or not gone to that party.

We think that it will be easier to live Holy when you don't have so much "peer pressure." They are just living in the moment, being young, and having the high school or college "experience." Right?

I heard a line in a song today that spoke directly to my spirit about this subject. How can we possibly expect people [still in school] to pursue Holy Living? Because of this verse from Chris Tomlin's "This is Our God":

"A refuge for the poor,

a shelter from the storm: this is our God.

And He will wipe away your tears,

and return your wasted years: this is our God."

He will RETURN OUR "WASTED" YEARS.... To me, this can mean SO much. For the students thinking that sitting at home on a Friday night is wasting a good time or you feel so BORED....or if you feel like you're "missing out" and you have "no friends" that will not party with you... or if you feel like you're not having fun living "Holy"... STICK IT OUT! God will RETURN the years you think are WASTED! He will bless you MORE for being faithful. You see the people living the "good life", but if you cling to the fact that HIS will is BEST, you will find the BETTER LIFE, the life more fulfilling, more abundant, more purposeful!

I also see this relating to people who think that their life has been a waste. They think they've spiraled out of control and they think it's hopeless wanting to get back on track. Or people who think that they could never change, if only these "Christians" knew what I've BEEN THROUGH, they would see how HARD it is to CHANGE. Or people who have lost their job, been to the bottom of the bottom, lost their marriage, lost their friends, have no church, or worked SO hard to get to a dead end.... GOD will return your wasted years! He can take your mess, your past, your pain and bring healing and restoration and purpose! He will pick you up from where you are, lavish his love on you, and give you the strength to press on! The light is coming! The end is near! His blessings are JUST around the corner for a heart that holds on!

Pursue God, pursue righteousness, pursue Holiness. Let God take control of your life now and forever, and WHATEVER you go through know that He won't let you down- Heaven will be WORTH whatever you go through on Earth! You will be BLESSED and God WILL return your wasted years.

A Life that MATTERS

Some people are heading back to class in search of a good time, some graduates are still in search for a good job, some career-minded young adults are searching for the perfect home, and some people are in search of being a good "christian."

People all over the world are searching, people are all striving for excellence in this life. They want to have more money, higher status, fulfilled desires, answered prayers... people claiming they're christians without pursuing a life that matters.

I have heard some really awesome sermons lately, by radio with Greg Laurie, and at church by Loran Livingston, really talking about sin, repentance, salvation, and heaven. I learned SO much yesterday, that my brain still hurts today!

Greg Laurie hit the nail on the head when he said that "the real reason people don't come to Jesus is because they are practicing evil and they don't want their deeds exposed." How TRUE is that!? I can totally relate!

Even in the times where my life was so far from the Spirit, yet I still called myself a "Christian." That term really means "Christ- Follower" but I can guarantee that I didn't want to go where He was. He was at church, he was at boring get-togethers with sober people that liked to play pranks for fun, he was in quiet, serious places, he was where there were a lot of "don'ts." He was where all the people I didn't like were, he was with the misfits and the holy-rollers, and the moms and the dads. He was where there were too many rules and not enough FUN.

He definitely was not where I wanted to be. I wanted to be beer-in-hand, center of attention, riding the bull in the middle of the bar. I wanted to be dancing on tables, falling down stairs, feeling good and doing whatever I wanted. I wanted to be with the popular people, the hot guys, the cocky people, the people that always had something to do- something fun! I considered myself a "Christ-follower", a "Christian", but I was not going where he was. I had no desire to. I had no convictions and I didn't want anyone around that would tell me I was wrong, that I was sinning, or that I was moving further and further from the Spirit.

I think it is different for me to know what to do. I was saved at the age of 5, I re-dedicated my life in the 6th grade, and I followed Christ into a deep relationship. Then I experienced LIFE, and as my testimony demonstrates I ran as far as I could from Him. It was easier to live my life the way I wanted and to never feel guilty. At the bottom of my pit, I decided to REPENT of my ways, I started to HATE the things I was doing, and I ran into the arms of the Father, and decided to live for Him.

Pastor Livingston preached an AWESOME / difficult sermon on the importance of REPENTANCE yesterday. I can definitely see some parallels in the life I lived before. He said that there are many people, christians and non-christians alike, that appear to be "Christians." (We won't know for sure until Jesus comes to take his children home)... but "if a person does not say I hate sin, he cannot repent, and a person who has not repented, can't be saved." OR "If you're still doing, now, after you say you're "saved", what you were doing BEFORE you were saved, you WEREN'T saved."

Ouch. Also, Loran refers to a passage about the Demon inside Lazarus. Demons cannot be inside Christians, BUT if you can't help but do the things you do, if your life is disgusting to a Holy God, you may not be a Christian. This demon can make itself at home in your life... make you LOVE the way you're living. The verses in Luke, say you can clean your life up, get your act together, "pour the liquor down the drain, they go back to their wife, they get rid of their videos, they say they're doing better...they get cleaned up but they don't get cleaned out!"

The demon may leave for a bit, but when it finds no one else to dwell in, it comes back to you, and brings 7 more wicked than the first- causing the person that started living BETTER, to live WORSE than they ever were before!! WOW.. how true is that?! "It just gets worse and worse when people leave out repentance."

"We don't have to DO anything to get to hell. We were born on our way there."

"if you are not living right, you are lost... if you are shacking up, you're lost, if you're under the control of drugs or alcohol, you are lost... if you need the love of a man to make you happy and you're willing to leave your husband to get it, you are lost!"

This world is NOT what Matters! This world is nothing compared to ETERNITY. I don't want anyone to go to hell...especially people that I know that THINK they're Christians, yet still love the way they are living! "Some of you won't live right because you're in love with someone who won't live right..get AWAY from them...what's your SOUL worth?!?"

That story of Lazarus talks about his view from Hell. Loran teaches, "People in heaven will not remember you (the things of this Earth will pass away). BUT for eternity you will see your mom, your dad, you'll hear the preacher with tears in his eyes or compassion in her voice asking you to come, and you said 'not now', 'not interested', 'i'm having a good time', etc. You'll be praying for eternity, but no one will hear you. The devil won't be ruling or laughing, he will be squirming and begging just like the people he has deceived."

"Jesus did not save you so you could excel at your business or make a lot of money,

he saved you from a place called Hell."

I know that this is a touchy subject and that no one wants to evaluate their soul. No one wants to say they're not a Christian, No one wants to talk about hell, eternity, demons, sin, God, church, etc. I KNOW! It makes you uncomfortable. But I'm willing to take that risk. I'm willing to make sure that in my OWN life that I focus less on my search for the good things of this Earth, and focus more on spreading what I've already FOUND- A life that Matters! A life that has a purpose, a Life that is lead by the Spirit, ONLY because I have TRULY repented! I TRULY HATE the things I do that dishonor God.

It was hard to get to this point. It didn't happen over night. I made a decision in a second, but it has been over a year in digging down deep, repenting of things I didn't even know were "sins" at the time. It's a PROCESS... but at the SECOND you repent, you can KNOW that you are His child. You can KNOW that you're going to HEAVEN and not hell. You can KNOW that no demons will control your life and steer you of course. You can KNOW that He'll give you the power to say "No." You can KNOW that YOU MATTER!

"Prayer Unanswered may be Faith Unseen"

Have you prayed and prayed and you hear NOTHING? Have you seen sign after sign that you were in "God's will" and then suddenly everything falls apart and you feel lost? Have you ever prayed something and God seems to only answer HALF of it? 

I have been praying and praying whether I am to buy a house or rent a place once my lease is up at the end of September. I had more than enough places, more than enough roommates, I was prequalified from my lender and sign after sign lead me to "THE ONE." I prayed that God would make my choice OBVIOUS and EASY. 5 Minutes later, my realtor told me a new listing of the same floor plan, in the same location, with my favorite ammenities of all of them, suddenly dropped over $10,000 just hovering over my PERFECT price... a motivated seller and a dreamy bargaining situation! I thought, this is it! This is the one! God answered my prayer IMMEDIATELY and I jumped on the process of making an offer.

Sounds like a perfect testimony to how prayer is really answered, right!?! UNTIL my roommates bailed, the lender won't count my part-time income, the loan falls apart before my eyes, and all in a matter of SECONDS, my future plans crumble before my eyes! I'm furious! I'm STRESSED to the max! I'm so LOST! I'm even embarrassed! 

Sure God made it OBVIOUS, but what happened to my request about it being "EASY"?? I'm so confused! Part of me thinks that Satan also heard my prayer, and thought that he would distract me by making me think this was part of God's plan because he made it "obvious". The other part of me thinks that God is teaching me...

I think that sometimes God DOES give us immediate answered prayers. I think He gives us signs and directions making it EASY to TRUST him. I KNOW God has ALWAYS come through for me... I've never been homeless, I've never been naked, I've never been hungry, I've never been alone in the sense of neglect. While God chooses to give us direction, I think he also calls us to have FAITH. Faith is putting trust in the UNSEEN. 

I think about Peter and when Jesus called him to get out of the boat and join him walking on WATER. 

The Message Bible says:

"Jumping out of the boat, Peter walked on the water to Jesus. But when he looked down at the waves churning beneath his feet, he lost his nerve and started to sink. He cried, "Master, save me!"

 ³¹Jesus didn't hesitate. He reached down and grabbed his hand. Then he said, "Faint-heart, what got into you?" (Matt. 14:29-31)

 The Amplified Bible and other languages translate: "O you of little faith, why did you doubt?" 

So, this may NOT be the "Testimony of Prayer being Answered" but it IS my "Testimony of deciding to have Faith in the Unseen." I don't know what's ahead, God hasn't made it clear, I don't know if it's going to work out to buy, or if I will continue to rent, I don't know who i'll live with or where i'll be, BUT I am deciding to have Faith that God does! Though the 'waves are tossing beneath my feet', I know that Jesus doesn't call me to have all the answers, but he DOES call me to be a woman of FAITH!