Have you ever felt like everyone is just floating along the river of life, barely getting to know you, barely extending a conversation, barely giving a care? I feel like this world just may be too busy to have time to listen to a friend's story. How often do you offer a shoulder to cry on? How often do you get into a challenging conversation that draws you closer to knowing who you are, why you're here, and possibly closer to the God you haven't had much time for either?
When I get into a dry spell of life, a feeling of emptiness, loneliness and feeling like a failure.. I know I need to turn to the Lord. Thank God, by now, I have at least realized WHERE my hope comes from, even if I happen to lose it occasionally. I started questioning, is this what the rest of my life is going to be? This daily routine, EVERY day of my life?
It's easy to lose vision when you take your eyes off Jesus. It's easy to feel like you are unchangeable and stuck when you aren't moving forward in your walk. It's easy to feel like this is the best your life can get when you aren't hearing God's plans for your life.
I started making sure I was at church on Sunday and then CharlotteONE on Tuesday nights. The Lord began to speak to me again about my passion for people who can't find involvement. He stirs up my desires to see this generation and the ones to follow rise up and meet their savior. He makes me realize the need for Him in this city.
Now that I have a tiny miracle in my belly, a little gift that God is knitting together in my womb, I started recognizing the places I go, the people I'm with, the season I'm in, and the importance, yet temporariness of it all. I get so excited to know my baby is feeling the beats and music of God's people praising Him. I get overwhelmed that I am this child's shelter. I become more accountable knowing that what I do affects another. And that is why I can't forget my calling to lead others to Christ and a life of living holy.
I decided to re-start my girl's Bible study group and I joined a wives mentor group that happen to meet on the same night. This past thursday was the start for both of them, and I can't even begin to describe the purpose, the hope, the vision, the dedication the Lord restored to me, and in abundance!
The ladies I met with were like a breath of God. The potential friendships, the deepness, the honestness, was incredible. HERE are the people that will listen. HERE are the people that will pour their heart out and allow the tears to flow. HERE are the people that KNOW God is in control, but yet are vulnerable enough to share their struggles. I found encouragement. I found peace. I found a challenge for my walk. I found a group of believers that would lay hands on my belly and PRAY for my baby. I found people that CARED.
Again I have the urge to bring that type of friendship, that type of growth, that type of encouragement to anyone who wants it. I encourage all of you to seek out a group of believers that can pour into your soul and others that you can pour out on.
Showing posts with label church. Show all posts
Showing posts with label church. Show all posts
Monday, November 8, 2010
Friday, December 11, 2009
"It isn't merely Sex"
Have you ever thought well it's just sex? or it's just a beer? or it's just a one-time-thing for this special occasion? You don't really see it as "wrong" and in some cases the Bible doesn't clearly define if it is or not. Our pastor, Loran Livingston, preached on the verses found in 2 Sam. 23:13-17 (found at the bottom of this blog) and I came to a new realization of what it meant in my own life.
Sometimes you think things are "good" because you have had a great experience with it. Or maybe things just make you feel good- that you couldn't envision yourself without it. Whether it is sex with your boyfriend, or going out for drinks with friends, or something as simple as going to the gym, or shopping...you think if you gave it up for a couple days, a month, a year you would absolutely go INSANE. You would CRAVE it. There are MANY things like that in my life.
Sometimes it's not the "thing" itself that is bad... it's the POSITION you've given it in your life. Sometimes it IS the "thing" that you KNOW is wrong, but it feels so good and impossible to give up.
I'll be honest with you.... purity is probably the hardest thing for me right now. 'We're in love', 'we talk of marriage', 'we talk about getting engaged soon', etc. Since I have opened that door before, so many under the "wrong" circumstances, I can't help but WANT that intimacy. I can't even begin to explain exactly how hard it is to deny that desire when things get heated between two people who love each other. It has actually brought me to TEARS.
I wrestle with the facts like: I've done it before, we're in love, no one will know, God will forgive us, but I'm a leader to young girls, a pursuer of living out the Word, an example of change, I always run from my sin and try to cover it up, what if it ruins our relationship, etc. I ask God continually to give us the strength to pursue purity, to be convicted, to envision Jesus with us- not just in our words and the places that we go... but that desire doesn't seem to ever be fully tamed. I become more AWARE of WHY I need to restrain it, the benefits of waiting, and often feeling sorrow when I know I've gone just a little too far. But the desire within isn't what I'm to get rid of... It's the position I give it in my life, it's the time I spend thinking about it, it's the lust I stir up before a marriage commitment, it's causing someone else to stumble, it's knowing that I CAN keep Jesus first, keep his commands, and turn to him in the struggle.
I crave it.
King David is HIDING in a cave, parched. He is CRAVING a glass of water. 3 men risk their lives to bring water back to him, and when he finally has what he has been longing for at his very fingertips.... he pours it out. I thought these verses didn't mean much. I thought how stupid...how rude...BUT preacher revealed to us what it really meant. It was about SACRIFICE, HONOR, REVERENCE, DEPENDENCY- not towards the men or the water, but to God. Saying that he wanted water... almost cost 3 men their LIVES. He CRAVED something that WASN'T the Lord, even though the Lord was WITH HIM in the darkest place of his life.
David said, "this isn't mere water, it's their life-blood." Now I think, "this isn't mere sex, mere time spent at the gym, mere alcohol, mere shopping, it's risking not spending my time in telling others about Jesus by the way I live and the words I speak, risking other's walk with the Lord, risking my witness, showing disobedience, risking the precious blessings he has in store for those who put Him first, it's honoring God with my life, honoring him in the darkness around me, honoring that He calls ME His child.
When I think of it THAT way, I start thinking of a multitude of things I reach out to before Him. I think of what I need to POUR OUT to honor my Father- to be closer to Him, to be holy as He is holy. I think if you don't want to OBEY Him, you don't really LOVE Him. And if you don't LOVE Him, how can you inherit the Kingdom?
"We don't want to give what costs us" -- Loran Livingston
"Blessed are the pure in heart for they will see God" Matthew 5:8
2 Sam. 23:
13-17 One day during harvest, the Three parted from the Thirty and joined David at the Cave of Adullam. A squad of Philistines had set up camp in the Valley of Rephaim. While David was holed up in the Cave, the Philistines had their base camp in Bethlehem. David had a sudden craving and said, "Would I ever like a drink of water from the well at the gate of Bethlehem!" So the Three penetrated the Philistine lines, drew water from the well at the gate of Bethlehem, and brought it back to David. But David wouldn't drink it; he poured it out as an offering to God, saying, "There is no way, God, that I'll drink this! This isn't mere water, it's their life-blood—they risked their very lives to bring it!" So David refused to drink it.
Sometimes you think things are "good" because you have had a great experience with it. Or maybe things just make you feel good- that you couldn't envision yourself without it. Whether it is sex with your boyfriend, or going out for drinks with friends, or something as simple as going to the gym, or shopping...you think if you gave it up for a couple days, a month, a year you would absolutely go INSANE. You would CRAVE it. There are MANY things like that in my life.
Sometimes it's not the "thing" itself that is bad... it's the POSITION you've given it in your life. Sometimes it IS the "thing" that you KNOW is wrong, but it feels so good and impossible to give up.
I'll be honest with you.... purity is probably the hardest thing for me right now. 'We're in love', 'we talk of marriage', 'we talk about getting engaged soon', etc. Since I have opened that door before, so many under the "wrong" circumstances, I can't help but WANT that intimacy. I can't even begin to explain exactly how hard it is to deny that desire when things get heated between two people who love each other. It has actually brought me to TEARS.
I wrestle with the facts like: I've done it before, we're in love, no one will know, God will forgive us, but I'm a leader to young girls, a pursuer of living out the Word, an example of change, I always run from my sin and try to cover it up, what if it ruins our relationship, etc. I ask God continually to give us the strength to pursue purity, to be convicted, to envision Jesus with us- not just in our words and the places that we go... but that desire doesn't seem to ever be fully tamed. I become more AWARE of WHY I need to restrain it, the benefits of waiting, and often feeling sorrow when I know I've gone just a little too far. But the desire within isn't what I'm to get rid of... It's the position I give it in my life, it's the time I spend thinking about it, it's the lust I stir up before a marriage commitment, it's causing someone else to stumble, it's knowing that I CAN keep Jesus first, keep his commands, and turn to him in the struggle.
I crave it.
King David is HIDING in a cave, parched. He is CRAVING a glass of water. 3 men risk their lives to bring water back to him, and when he finally has what he has been longing for at his very fingertips.... he pours it out. I thought these verses didn't mean much. I thought how stupid...how rude...BUT preacher revealed to us what it really meant. It was about SACRIFICE, HONOR, REVERENCE, DEPENDENCY- not towards the men or the water, but to God. Saying that he wanted water... almost cost 3 men their LIVES. He CRAVED something that WASN'T the Lord, even though the Lord was WITH HIM in the darkest place of his life.
David said, "this isn't mere water, it's their life-blood." Now I think, "this isn't mere sex, mere time spent at the gym, mere alcohol, mere shopping, it's risking not spending my time in telling others about Jesus by the way I live and the words I speak, risking other's walk with the Lord, risking my witness, showing disobedience, risking the precious blessings he has in store for those who put Him first, it's honoring God with my life, honoring him in the darkness around me, honoring that He calls ME His child.
When I think of it THAT way, I start thinking of a multitude of things I reach out to before Him. I think of what I need to POUR OUT to honor my Father- to be closer to Him, to be holy as He is holy. I think if you don't want to OBEY Him, you don't really LOVE Him. And if you don't LOVE Him, how can you inherit the Kingdom?
"We don't want to give what costs us" -- Loran Livingston
"Blessed are the pure in heart for they will see God" Matthew 5:8
2 Sam. 23:
13-17 One day during harvest, the Three parted from the Thirty and joined David at the Cave of Adullam. A squad of Philistines had set up camp in the Valley of Rephaim. While David was holed up in the Cave, the Philistines had their base camp in Bethlehem. David had a sudden craving and said, "Would I ever like a drink of water from the well at the gate of Bethlehem!" So the Three penetrated the Philistine lines, drew water from the well at the gate of Bethlehem, and brought it back to David. But David wouldn't drink it; he poured it out as an offering to God, saying, "There is no way, God, that I'll drink this! This isn't mere water, it's their life-blood—they risked their very lives to bring it!" So David refused to drink it.
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