It is amazing to me how many people face life without direction. I see tons of people still stuck in a "season" of their life, though they are meant to be in the next. There are people that walk aimlessly through life without dreams, without purpose, and without feeling it at all.
When I was in highschool, I went crazy... from my testimony and past entries, we all know this. I did everything under the sun, but then again, MOST people in highschool are a lot more immature and carefree then they are when they are adults. Again, in college, I wanted the EXPERIENCE. I wanted to eat cookie dough for dinner, buy alcohol at the liquor store, and party all night. And I'm not gonna lie, I had an awesome time!
BUT, that was but a season. Though seasons fade, pain and scars do not. You can leave a moment in your life, you can give up things, you can move on from relationships, you can even try to wipe away the memories like a tear falling down your cheek-- but the destruction you've done, damages you for a long, long time.
When you hand your life over to God, and seek Him in everything, He starts to speak louder and louder into your ear. You can KNOW when He's saying "no," and even more than that, you can hear Him give you direction.
When I moved on from college, I sought Jesus harder than I ever had before. I got into my Bible, into a devotional, and into books by Christian authors that God used to move me out of that season of life and into a new one- The Career Woman.
I had to box up the things I thought were fun, turn habits into old ways, and let the Lord go through deep and dark places, I would have like to kept hidden.
At Charlotte One, a Christian speaker, Vodie Baucom, told a story about having the pest control man coming to get out all the rats, all the cob webs and all the pests that lurk in the dark to be able to restore your house into a comfortable and cozy home. That we need to let Jesus shine the light on even our most embarrassing secrets, until it almost hurts. I knew that there were secrets I had hidden, hurts I tried to conceal, things I had done that I never wanted ANYONE to know about, much less confess to JESUS. But I had to let him REMIND me of hurtful things people did to me, I had to cry, I had to remember the pain, the guilt, the SHAME of things I thought I had forgotten.
People get stuck in a season of life when they don't know where to go next, when they're not ready to take responsibility for their past, or when they don't feel grounded. I can see it all around me, and I have definitely been there. Without God, you are fearful, you are questioning everything, you are always in search of reasons and things that will fulfill you, you stay independent because everyone else has hurt you or left you and you just don't trust anyone anymore, you have a heart that has been badly bruised, a body that's hardy been hugged or touched or loved, you crave the mere sound of someone in the room because you're dying just to know that someone is there, you ask questions just to get someone to respond... Outside you appear to have it altogether, you're fine on your own, you're happy with who you are, but inside you're wondering if anyone cares, if anyone truly loves you and if anyone would even care if you left this earth. You want something more... but you don't know what it is, exactly, and you don't even want to ask for it. You don't want to let anyone into the deep dark you. You don't want to expose the shame, the guilty, the awful things people have done to you, and the judgment it may bring...
BUT I HAVE NEWS... God wants to LOVE you, He already KNOWS the REAL you and wants to HEAL you, He wants to pull you closer to himself and let you cry. He wants you to realize that you need HIM. He's the only one that can fill that void, that can make you feel whole, that can give you the confidence and the security and the healing to enter in a new season of life. He wants to tell you His magnificent plan for YOUR life!! He created YOU for a very specific part of his kingdom! He NEEDs YOU to fill a very special hole in HIS heart that only YOU can fill, too! He DESIRES to bless you, to cherish you, to COMFORT you, to ENCOURAGE you!
Without realizing that, and letting him into those deep dark places, you may be the college partier when you're supposed to be a wife. You may be the drunkard when you were supposed to be a dad. You may be the career woman when you're supposed to be a grandma. You may be the child when you're supposed to be an adult. There is a SEASON, a time for EVERYTHING... there are going to be just as many great things in the NEXT season as there are now! There are going to be lessons learned, character growth and maturity increased with every season and there are going to be GREAT things at every step of the way!
So don't get stuck in the place you are now, draw closer to HIM and HEAR where you're going! If you've JUST realized you are wanting OUT OF the season you are in, and you don't know HOW to be in the season you are supposed to be in... start PRAYING. Draw close to Him and he will draw close to you. Seek him and you will find him. Ask and it will be given unto you. It's His will for you to come to him, to seek him and to need Him, that's ALL you have to do, and he will take it from there!
And don't be so eager to get to the next stage that you miss out on everything this season has to offer, either.
"TO EVERYTHING there is a season, and a time for every matter or purpose under heaven" Ecc. 3:1
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
Thursday, May 20, 2010
Contentment
I'm watching "Facing the Giants," and as I come to tears, I realize one big thing... that God wants us to be content. He wants us to be faithful to him no matter what. He wants us to be okay with the yeses AND the no's. He wants us to love Him for giving us things and even when they are taken away. He wants us to say "I'll still love you."
It's amazing how many times we ask God for things or outcomes and we don't get it. We think because that dream has vanished, that opportunity passed, that relationship failed, etc that it's never going to happen. We think that's the end. We get angry, we get sad, we fall away, our hearts turn cold, or we give up on asking when God is really just seeing if we'll still love Him and if we'll be satisfied in Him alone.
I don't know how many times I did this same thing when I was younger. I didn't get my way or that toy or that wish and I threw a fit- an all out tantrum. I would slam doors, yell things I didn't mean, or become rigid and cold. SOMETIMES my parents had all intentions of GIVING me what I wanted or asked for, and sometimes a no meant no. What does it show about our attitude and hearts if we throw a hissy fit when God postpones the answer or shuts a door? What does it say about our faithfulness to God when we don't get what we asked for and we start putting boundaries on our trust and limits on God's abilities?
In the movie a guy refers to two farmers who prayed for rain, but only ONE prepared his fields for it. Then asks, "which one do you think had more faith?" If we focus so much on what God DIDN'T DO, we lose sight of what he's gonna do! And if we don't prepare for him to work through our lives and BELIEVE that He will, our faith may hinder us from seeing and experiencing Him fully.
God truly wants the BEST for us. God truly is the god who can turn death into life. God truly is the God who can move mountains. So who are we to undermine His plan and to get angry or upset when something we want is not in His will?
If we become content with the "no's," if we become okay with the "wait's," if we surrender what we think is best and honestly give him control... we will find God working in miraculous ways! It's just part of his plan. How much greater is the birth of a baby from a woman who was pronounced barren, how much more joy comes from a win after a lengthy series of losses, how much encouragement comes from hearing the weak overcoming, the anxious finding peace, the lonely finding love, the destroyed finding hope, the debtors finding financial freedom, etc.
I just encourage you to not get so down that you lose sight of God and how big of a god He is. And when you're asking God, prepare for the yes and the no, but also remember that Nothing is final with a God that GREAT. Nothing is over with a God that has a big plan for your life. Nothing is broken, used, or missing that God can't restore. Become content, that God will take care of you either way!
It's amazing how many times we ask God for things or outcomes and we don't get it. We think because that dream has vanished, that opportunity passed, that relationship failed, etc that it's never going to happen. We think that's the end. We get angry, we get sad, we fall away, our hearts turn cold, or we give up on asking when God is really just seeing if we'll still love Him and if we'll be satisfied in Him alone.
I don't know how many times I did this same thing when I was younger. I didn't get my way or that toy or that wish and I threw a fit- an all out tantrum. I would slam doors, yell things I didn't mean, or become rigid and cold. SOMETIMES my parents had all intentions of GIVING me what I wanted or asked for, and sometimes a no meant no. What does it show about our attitude and hearts if we throw a hissy fit when God postpones the answer or shuts a door? What does it say about our faithfulness to God when we don't get what we asked for and we start putting boundaries on our trust and limits on God's abilities?
In the movie a guy refers to two farmers who prayed for rain, but only ONE prepared his fields for it. Then asks, "which one do you think had more faith?" If we focus so much on what God DIDN'T DO, we lose sight of what he's gonna do! And if we don't prepare for him to work through our lives and BELIEVE that He will, our faith may hinder us from seeing and experiencing Him fully.
God truly wants the BEST for us. God truly is the god who can turn death into life. God truly is the God who can move mountains. So who are we to undermine His plan and to get angry or upset when something we want is not in His will?
If we become content with the "no's," if we become okay with the "wait's," if we surrender what we think is best and honestly give him control... we will find God working in miraculous ways! It's just part of his plan. How much greater is the birth of a baby from a woman who was pronounced barren, how much more joy comes from a win after a lengthy series of losses, how much encouragement comes from hearing the weak overcoming, the anxious finding peace, the lonely finding love, the destroyed finding hope, the debtors finding financial freedom, etc.
I just encourage you to not get so down that you lose sight of God and how big of a god He is. And when you're asking God, prepare for the yes and the no, but also remember that Nothing is final with a God that GREAT. Nothing is over with a God that has a big plan for your life. Nothing is broken, used, or missing that God can't restore. Become content, that God will take care of you either way!
Friday, May 14, 2010
Relationship Advice
From movies to magazines to real life, people are eager to give relationship advice. We want to accomplish goals, "find who we are," travel, establish a career, etc BEFORE we tie the knot. As the years go on, marriage becomes a "bad" thing- that gives us anxiety, adds debt, becomes emotionally draining, "a thing of the past," a trap, something you don't want to get into because your afraid of wanting to get out, etc. We are scared of DIVORCE so we want to make sure we found the "RIGHT" one. We want to make sure we are grounded before we engage in a relationship with "the one" or even start looking. We are so busy being IN THE WORLD- partying, clubbing, serial dating, going out with the girls, making money, becoming independent and self-sufficient, learning how to satisfy ourselves, buying things to make us feel prettier, happier, and of worth, that we put marriage off further and further.
Now I'm NOT saying it's not good to be single. I'm NOT saying that you need to concentrate on "finding the One." I just don't want people to see "Marriage" as a big scary monster that's coming to rob us of who we are, the fun we have, and the goals we worked so hard to get to.
MARRIAGE is supposed to be something that is placed up high, sacred, something that God himself designed to be the ultimate relationship before He comes. Intended to join two people to get through life together. To be intimate in every sense of the word. To have the most AMAZING sex. To be FREE in each other. To be a team. To better each other, to have support, to become who you were fully meant to be. Through life's valleys you'll have someone to go there with you, and when you get to life's mountain tops, you'll have someone to share it with. Someone that has your back, but can sweep you off your feet. It's more than dating, more than commitment, it's a union with the Father that is the Giver of all good things!
Now, when it comes to giving advice to my friends that DON'T HAVE A PERSONAL RELATIONSHIP with Jesus Christ, all of this becomes void. You can't take only PART of the Bible, you can't only do half of what He says. You can't be sexually active and pray together and say you're living for God. Yes, you will mess up, and yes you are not perfect, but if you KNOW that it is wrong, if the Bible says it's wrong, if your wise and godly counsel say it's wrong, and you CONTINUE to do it, you are living in sin and therefore, out of God's will. So if you ask me for advice on your relationship, my answer is ALWAYS going to be "get your personal relationship with the Lord on track, as strong and intimate as it can possibly be" or "get on the same page with God."
I truly believe that when you give your heart to the Lord, once and for all- no take backs, when you surrender YOUR will, when you say 'Lord, I want all of you, totally and fully,' when you are willing to give up your boyfriend, your friends, your drug of choice, your job, your money, etc and READ and PRAY EVERYDAY, only THEN can you be preparing for MARRIAGE.
God has a plan designed for your life. You have a biological clock that IS ticking. I KNOW that when you draw near to God, and LISTEN, he will show you his plan. He will put desires in you that align with His will. I guarantee you that He is NOT going to say "you need to date more people", "make more money", or "be more independent", when the Bible teaches to "guard your heart," "be content," and to "become one with your husband."
We get so BUSY, and we want to RUSH things, we want anything and everything the world says is "IN." We are SO much in the world, that we forget we are supposed to be "in it but not of it." We need to remove ourselves from it, if we get so sucked in by the garbage. Turn off your tv, get off facebook, stop watching romance movies and getting Cosmo magazines... and get into a quiet place, on your knees, in the Word, and pray.
When I gave my life completely over to the Lord, for good, I put "away my childish ways." As I got closer to Him, I became more sanctified, more AWARE of my SIN. And he gave me NEW goals, NEW desires, NEW things to live for. It became where nothing else mattered, whether I got married, whether I stayed single, whether I had friends, or whether I was just with my God, I was content. He started PREPARING me to be "marriage material." He started breaking my strongholds, getting in deep, helping me see how I needed to change.
Now that I am at that point of getting married, I KNOW that it is God's will for me. No one can tell me I'm too young, it was too fast, or I don't make enough money, or I need to experience more... I have HEARD from the Lord that this is His will. I have FASTED and I've Prayed, sought wise and godly counsel, I have taken on the struggle to remain pure, and when I slip, I repent and get back on track... We are seeking the Lord in our ministry and in our future household.
I believe that the world can't give you a number, a formula, an age, a "type," a checklist, or anything else that says you're ready for marriage. Nor can you judge someone else for getting married IF they are walking and talking with the Lord. But as for advice, I believe if someone asks, you may give sound advice and godly counsel if you are walking with the Lord and have PRAYED about it and the one that is considering marriage is not.
All of this goes to say, that when you are looking for relationship advice... go to God.. go to the word.. and then go seek godly counsel. Check your relationship with the Lord and see if you are doing ALL you can for HIM, and He will DIRECT your path. He will align your desires with his own, and then you can be SURE your are living your life in the TIMING of His WILL and not according to the world.
Ecc. 3:1
"There's an opportune time to do things, a right time for everything on the earth"
Now I'm NOT saying it's not good to be single. I'm NOT saying that you need to concentrate on "finding the One." I just don't want people to see "Marriage" as a big scary monster that's coming to rob us of who we are, the fun we have, and the goals we worked so hard to get to.
MARRIAGE is supposed to be something that is placed up high, sacred, something that God himself designed to be the ultimate relationship before He comes. Intended to join two people to get through life together. To be intimate in every sense of the word. To have the most AMAZING sex. To be FREE in each other. To be a team. To better each other, to have support, to become who you were fully meant to be. Through life's valleys you'll have someone to go there with you, and when you get to life's mountain tops, you'll have someone to share it with. Someone that has your back, but can sweep you off your feet. It's more than dating, more than commitment, it's a union with the Father that is the Giver of all good things!
Now, when it comes to giving advice to my friends that DON'T HAVE A PERSONAL RELATIONSHIP with Jesus Christ, all of this becomes void. You can't take only PART of the Bible, you can't only do half of what He says. You can't be sexually active and pray together and say you're living for God. Yes, you will mess up, and yes you are not perfect, but if you KNOW that it is wrong, if the Bible says it's wrong, if your wise and godly counsel say it's wrong, and you CONTINUE to do it, you are living in sin and therefore, out of God's will. So if you ask me for advice on your relationship, my answer is ALWAYS going to be "get your personal relationship with the Lord on track, as strong and intimate as it can possibly be" or "get on the same page with God."
I truly believe that when you give your heart to the Lord, once and for all- no take backs, when you surrender YOUR will, when you say 'Lord, I want all of you, totally and fully,' when you are willing to give up your boyfriend, your friends, your drug of choice, your job, your money, etc and READ and PRAY EVERYDAY, only THEN can you be preparing for MARRIAGE.
God has a plan designed for your life. You have a biological clock that IS ticking. I KNOW that when you draw near to God, and LISTEN, he will show you his plan. He will put desires in you that align with His will. I guarantee you that He is NOT going to say "you need to date more people", "make more money", or "be more independent", when the Bible teaches to "guard your heart," "be content," and to "become one with your husband."
We get so BUSY, and we want to RUSH things, we want anything and everything the world says is "IN." We are SO much in the world, that we forget we are supposed to be "in it but not of it." We need to remove ourselves from it, if we get so sucked in by the garbage. Turn off your tv, get off facebook, stop watching romance movies and getting Cosmo magazines... and get into a quiet place, on your knees, in the Word, and pray.
When I gave my life completely over to the Lord, for good, I put "away my childish ways." As I got closer to Him, I became more sanctified, more AWARE of my SIN. And he gave me NEW goals, NEW desires, NEW things to live for. It became where nothing else mattered, whether I got married, whether I stayed single, whether I had friends, or whether I was just with my God, I was content. He started PREPARING me to be "marriage material." He started breaking my strongholds, getting in deep, helping me see how I needed to change.
Now that I am at that point of getting married, I KNOW that it is God's will for me. No one can tell me I'm too young, it was too fast, or I don't make enough money, or I need to experience more... I have HEARD from the Lord that this is His will. I have FASTED and I've Prayed, sought wise and godly counsel, I have taken on the struggle to remain pure, and when I slip, I repent and get back on track... We are seeking the Lord in our ministry and in our future household.
I believe that the world can't give you a number, a formula, an age, a "type," a checklist, or anything else that says you're ready for marriage. Nor can you judge someone else for getting married IF they are walking and talking with the Lord. But as for advice, I believe if someone asks, you may give sound advice and godly counsel if you are walking with the Lord and have PRAYED about it and the one that is considering marriage is not.
All of this goes to say, that when you are looking for relationship advice... go to God.. go to the word.. and then go seek godly counsel. Check your relationship with the Lord and see if you are doing ALL you can for HIM, and He will DIRECT your path. He will align your desires with his own, and then you can be SURE your are living your life in the TIMING of His WILL and not according to the world.
Ecc. 3:1
"There's an opportune time to do things, a right time for everything on the earth"
Monday, April 5, 2010
God's still Got it
Easter service was amazing! Gathering with 11,000 other people at Bobcats arena was a true testament that God is STILL saving people!
Standing there, music loud, hands raised and tears streaming down my face, I was overjoyed.
I cried because people were getting baptized and professing their faith...
I cried because thousands of people were singing to the One who died for them...
I cried because people performing, had found their TRUE self in Christ...
I cried because families were brought together- MY family, and I became sooo thankful they'll be there in heaven, too.
I cried because there are STILL people that NEED Christ, still people are WANTING to hear about the lover of their soul, still people that want freedom, still people that are moved by the Spirit, still people that get excited about the plans that He has for them.
Wow.
I realized how sometimes we focus on our tiny surroundings and think that people have turned a deaf ear to us. We think God has given up. We think that this generation is headed to hell and no one wants to hear about Jesus. BUT then, in that arena, I realized that God is still calling people to himself. He is still giving people hope. He is still mighty to save! He hasn't given up on his children! He's still mending hearts and healing the broken, still setting the captives free!
I realized that everyone that surrenders to God's will, finds themselves. God truly uses your unique talents and desires to further his kingdom. The band still can dress punk-rockish or classy or have crazy hair or play an instrument or sing a song and God can use THAT for his kingdom. You don't have to fit a certain mold or be someone you're not to do something for God. You can take whoever you are, whatever background you have and be a disciple for Him! If you had an abortion, were raped at a young age, became a young single mom, faced death, had a drug addiction, ran from the Lord, etc God CAN USE YOU! He has given you a story to tell- a mountain to climb... a testimony to tell. And you will feel more ALIVE when you let him use you. You have a place and a purpose SOMEWHERE in the kingdom, doing something GREAT that affects eternity! Yes, YOU!
I realized how lucky I am to KNOW that my family and my fiance will welcome me into heaven, or I will welcome them. My awareness is heightened to the fact that many families are divided, God is absent, and their eternity is unsure. I hope that everyone can start seeing their family is their number one ministry! That you can't give up! And that if your family is walking with the Lord, then to take your ministry further! Expand beyond the home! Reach out to the community and be flexible in where God wants you.
Easter is more than a reminder that Jesus died so that we could be saved, but a bigger reminder that He is STILL saving and He is coming again!
Standing there, music loud, hands raised and tears streaming down my face, I was overjoyed.
I cried because people were getting baptized and professing their faith...
I cried because thousands of people were singing to the One who died for them...
I cried because people performing, had found their TRUE self in Christ...
I cried because families were brought together- MY family, and I became sooo thankful they'll be there in heaven, too.
I cried because there are STILL people that NEED Christ, still people are WANTING to hear about the lover of their soul, still people that want freedom, still people that are moved by the Spirit, still people that get excited about the plans that He has for them.
Wow.
I realized how sometimes we focus on our tiny surroundings and think that people have turned a deaf ear to us. We think God has given up. We think that this generation is headed to hell and no one wants to hear about Jesus. BUT then, in that arena, I realized that God is still calling people to himself. He is still giving people hope. He is still mighty to save! He hasn't given up on his children! He's still mending hearts and healing the broken, still setting the captives free!
I realized that everyone that surrenders to God's will, finds themselves. God truly uses your unique talents and desires to further his kingdom. The band still can dress punk-rockish or classy or have crazy hair or play an instrument or sing a song and God can use THAT for his kingdom. You don't have to fit a certain mold or be someone you're not to do something for God. You can take whoever you are, whatever background you have and be a disciple for Him! If you had an abortion, were raped at a young age, became a young single mom, faced death, had a drug addiction, ran from the Lord, etc God CAN USE YOU! He has given you a story to tell- a mountain to climb... a testimony to tell. And you will feel more ALIVE when you let him use you. You have a place and a purpose SOMEWHERE in the kingdom, doing something GREAT that affects eternity! Yes, YOU!
I realized how lucky I am to KNOW that my family and my fiance will welcome me into heaven, or I will welcome them. My awareness is heightened to the fact that many families are divided, God is absent, and their eternity is unsure. I hope that everyone can start seeing their family is their number one ministry! That you can't give up! And that if your family is walking with the Lord, then to take your ministry further! Expand beyond the home! Reach out to the community and be flexible in where God wants you.
Easter is more than a reminder that Jesus died so that we could be saved, but a bigger reminder that He is STILL saving and He is coming again!
Thursday, March 18, 2010
Independent Woman
In college I learned that "if you want something done, you've got to do it yourself;" money is our motivation, beauty is how we get things, sex is how we feel intimacy, lust is how we know love, and alcohol is how we become "ourselves."
We get on this power trip trying to become the world's super woman. We want job satisfaction, money that buys us a bmw, we don't need a man because we can do it all by ourselves. From sex to support, we need to be self-sufficient. We even have "parties" that endorse our ability to satisfy ourselves. We can buy what we need, get pleasure on our own, work to fill our time, and live until we die.
This, my friends, is OF THE WORLD. Shocker, huh?!? Everything we are told, everything we strive for, all the songs we sing claiming we are independent women, is OPPOSITE of what God designed for us to be, live, and operate.
Through reading this book "Captivating", listening to this series called "Stand by your Man" by Pastor White, and learning about a woman through my women's Bible study... I have discovered some things that God desires a woman to be, and here are some of the things I have heard, read, done:
- Men and women are different (duh). But, we were created to become one. We are opposites in just about everything so that when we come together, we COMPLETE each other and the picture that God designed.
- Women aren't supposed to think of SEX like a man thinks of sex. It messes up the equation. I used to feel like if I trained myself to be more like a guy in that way, leaving out emotions and feelings, then I would never get hurt [again]. But God made us emotional, and it ADDS to our marriage.
- Women shouldn't put their careers first. He wants us to have a heart for our family, for our home. That doesn't mean we can't work, but it should never take the place of our family.
- We are taught to be controlling, and take charge and be independent, but in our relationships, this can de-masculinize our men. If we are soooo dominant, and overpowering, they become afraid to take charge, inadequate, and incapable to satisfy us. God wants us to NEED our husband. After becoming so independent, I looked at the guys I was dating and thought they weren't "man" enough for me. In actuality, I was not the WOMAN I was supposed to be. When I become less controlling, less in charge, less talkative, less critical, or when I SUBMIT (laying down my opinions in order to lift up his) I see this manly, godly man emerge and take back the lead... (and also relieves the stress/pressure).
- We can use EVERYTHING we have for the glory of God. If he gave us a loud mouth, or the gift of leadership, he doesn't mean for us to LEAD over our husbands, but to lead a small group or to share the gospel. If we are controlling, particular, strong, we can advert these characteristics through a business or to enhance the kingdom, if we surrender them to God, and not try to use them to control our partners.
- Beauty is to be unveiled. We shouldn't want to show our body off until we are in the presence of our husbands. If we are in a dating relationship, or engaged, we should keep everything under our clothes, a secret... until we can reveal it on our wedding day. Sometimes I wish I had done a better job of this, even now I get convicted about my clothing choices. But can you imagine the groom's face the first night his beloved is unveiled?? He HAS to be in total awe and excitement!
- Women reflect God's beauty. Each woman, tall/short/skinny/fat/ugly/pretty/ etc reflects the beauty of God. Any time we criticize our own body or someone else's, we are criticizing God himself. We are saying that HIS work his foolish.
These are just some of the things that have been on my mind to share with y'all... they really impacted my life. Just being able to discern the world's ways from God's ways is such a relief and sign of growth! Sometimes if we can just point out that -that way of living is NOT from God, it is easier to steer clear from that. God's way is best.... ALWAYS.
We get on this power trip trying to become the world's super woman. We want job satisfaction, money that buys us a bmw, we don't need a man because we can do it all by ourselves. From sex to support, we need to be self-sufficient. We even have "parties" that endorse our ability to satisfy ourselves. We can buy what we need, get pleasure on our own, work to fill our time, and live until we die.
This, my friends, is OF THE WORLD. Shocker, huh?!? Everything we are told, everything we strive for, all the songs we sing claiming we are independent women, is OPPOSITE of what God designed for us to be, live, and operate.
Through reading this book "Captivating", listening to this series called "Stand by your Man" by Pastor White, and learning about a woman through my women's Bible study... I have discovered some things that God desires a woman to be, and here are some of the things I have heard, read, done:
- Men and women are different (duh). But, we were created to become one. We are opposites in just about everything so that when we come together, we COMPLETE each other and the picture that God designed.
- Women aren't supposed to think of SEX like a man thinks of sex. It messes up the equation. I used to feel like if I trained myself to be more like a guy in that way, leaving out emotions and feelings, then I would never get hurt [again]. But God made us emotional, and it ADDS to our marriage.
- Women shouldn't put their careers first. He wants us to have a heart for our family, for our home. That doesn't mean we can't work, but it should never take the place of our family.
- We are taught to be controlling, and take charge and be independent, but in our relationships, this can de-masculinize our men. If we are soooo dominant, and overpowering, they become afraid to take charge, inadequate, and incapable to satisfy us. God wants us to NEED our husband. After becoming so independent, I looked at the guys I was dating and thought they weren't "man" enough for me. In actuality, I was not the WOMAN I was supposed to be. When I become less controlling, less in charge, less talkative, less critical, or when I SUBMIT (laying down my opinions in order to lift up his) I see this manly, godly man emerge and take back the lead... (and also relieves the stress/pressure).
- We can use EVERYTHING we have for the glory of God. If he gave us a loud mouth, or the gift of leadership, he doesn't mean for us to LEAD over our husbands, but to lead a small group or to share the gospel. If we are controlling, particular, strong, we can advert these characteristics through a business or to enhance the kingdom, if we surrender them to God, and not try to use them to control our partners.
- Beauty is to be unveiled. We shouldn't want to show our body off until we are in the presence of our husbands. If we are in a dating relationship, or engaged, we should keep everything under our clothes, a secret... until we can reveal it on our wedding day. Sometimes I wish I had done a better job of this, even now I get convicted about my clothing choices. But can you imagine the groom's face the first night his beloved is unveiled?? He HAS to be in total awe and excitement!
- Women reflect God's beauty. Each woman, tall/short/skinny/fat/ugly/pretty/ etc reflects the beauty of God. Any time we criticize our own body or someone else's, we are criticizing God himself. We are saying that HIS work his foolish.
These are just some of the things that have been on my mind to share with y'all... they really impacted my life. Just being able to discern the world's ways from God's ways is such a relief and sign of growth! Sometimes if we can just point out that -that way of living is NOT from God, it is easier to steer clear from that. God's way is best.... ALWAYS.
Blogging Goal
I just wanted to note that I am going to get more motivated to keep writing posts. I know that a lot of my entries are lengthy, but I'm going to strive to post more for the next couple weeks. They may be shorter, they may be "less moving", but God's word does not return void! I want to challenge myself to get back in the word, and to post anything I can on what i've learned! So keep checking back!
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
"I can't stop Doing It"
Do you ever feel like you know the "right" choice but you pick the opposite anyway? You know the "right" way to live, but you rather follow your own path, make your own choices. Maybe you're having fun just living the life, and you take what it throws at you as an "opportunity" or "making you who you are" or a chance to "improve."
Some of us don't really know what's right and wrong, and that's okay! But others of us KNOW what's right and wrong and we CHOOSE to do what's wrong. Is this getting anyone's attention? Sometimes we get so angry with ourselves that we fall back into the same routine, or we feel bad in the presence of the Lord and we try and try not to do it again- that is a GOOD thing. The Lord wants you to love him enough to WANT to change, to TRY to change, to go to Him after we fail.
But there are other people that feel enslaved to it. They can't say "no" to the party, they can't put down the bottle, they can't stop lusting, they can't stop giving in to emotions and feelings and thinking this guy is "the one" and giving themselves over and over away to someone who truly wasn't "the one". There are people that KNOW the right thing and yet can't seem to do it- and they don't really care. They can't seem to find a passion for church, a desire to have their quiet time, they rebel from the rules, and they seclude themselves from anyone who is going to tell them they are "wrong." They will hide from the light in order to find contentment in the dark; to be comfortable in their sin and in their current condition. THESE are the people I'm trying to reach right NOW. How do I know what you're doing and feeling? I know because I have been there and so has Paul. He wrote:
Some of us don't really know what's right and wrong, and that's okay! But others of us KNOW what's right and wrong and we CHOOSE to do what's wrong. Is this getting anyone's attention? Sometimes we get so angry with ourselves that we fall back into the same routine, or we feel bad in the presence of the Lord and we try and try not to do it again- that is a GOOD thing. The Lord wants you to love him enough to WANT to change, to TRY to change, to go to Him after we fail.
But there are other people that feel enslaved to it. They can't say "no" to the party, they can't put down the bottle, they can't stop lusting, they can't stop giving in to emotions and feelings and thinking this guy is "the one" and giving themselves over and over away to someone who truly wasn't "the one". There are people that KNOW the right thing and yet can't seem to do it- and they don't really care. They can't seem to find a passion for church, a desire to have their quiet time, they rebel from the rules, and they seclude themselves from anyone who is going to tell them they are "wrong." They will hide from the light in order to find contentment in the dark; to be comfortable in their sin and in their current condition. THESE are the people I'm trying to reach right NOW. How do I know what you're doing and feeling? I know because I have been there and so has Paul. He wrote:
"What I don't understand about myself is that I decide one way, but then I act another, doing things I absolutely despise...I realize that I don't have what it takes. I can will it, but I can't do it. I decide to do good, but I don't really do it; I decide not to do bad, but then I do it anyway. My decisions, such as they are, don't result in actions. Something has gone wrong deep within me and gets the better of me every time."
He is saying that we can't do what is right because our sinful nature is too powerful. We keep giving in. The SIN that's living in YOU is MAKING you do the WRONG things. Our sinful nature makes us WEAK to sin. The WEAKER you are in standing up against sin, the FURTHER you are from the heart of God.
As Christians, or even as nonbelievers... there comes a point where you need to make a decision DO YOU WANT TO BE SAVED? We of course jump to the first "correct answer," "Yes!" BUT I think that a lot of people are quick to say they want to be a "Christian," a "Christ-Follower," a "Disciple" but they forget that it is a COMMITMENT.
You don't just decide to be a Christian one day and go to church. You don't just want to escape hell by proclaiming you love the Lord. This is something that you need to sit down and decide, that EVERY DAY for the REST of MY life I am going to hand MY will, MY wants, MY desires, over to someone else. You CHOOSE to let the SPIRIT come in and CHANGE you. If you KNOW what's "Right" you CHOOSE what's right. When you have a waging war inside you, you KNOW what the Bible says, or you seek counsel and you ultimately LET the Spirit win. The devil has already been defeated!
"Those who live according to the sinful nature have their minds set on what that nature desires; but those who live in accordance with the Spirit have their minds set on what the Spirit desires...the sinful mind is hostile to God. It does not submit to God's law, nor can it do so. 8Those controlled by the sinful nature cannot please God."
These verses and the ones continuing say that if you're running from God, avoiding "Spiritual people," absent from the body of believers, rather have your own way, than God's way- then you are controlled by the sinful nature still, and you can't please God. And if you don't even feel the war within, that if you don't have the Spirit in you, then you do not belong to Christ (v. 9)
In college, I became VERY weak to sin and desired things that God didn't. I was fed up with trying to live according the Spirit. I felt like I could have more fun living my own way. I felt like people liked me more, there were so many hot guys, and alcohol made me free. I said "yes" to it all. I didn't want to go to church anymore, because I had partied SO hard the night before--what would they think?! I couldn't join the choir or sing on the Praise Team because if anyone had seen me out the night before I'd be ruined.
At the end of my 4 years, my future got hazy. I had no idea where to go, know idea what career path I wanted, and I had to be on my own in 6 months. I had to get it together and the only way I knew how was to look at others that had it "together." My sister was an amazing influence on me. She played guitar, recorded you-tube videos, pursued things I only dreamed of. She had time to do all this stuff AND had my parents support. She had an awesome boyfriend and just everything you could want. And my parents- they have a lasting marriage, a circle of friends that are actually dependable, jobs that are propelling, and overwhelming joy. They had HOPE. They had a FUTURE. And they relied on JESUS. I started going back to church, journaling, and doing my devotions. It was tough, but I knew that I needed to make a decision- a commitment to be who God wanted me to be, to follow HIS plan, and to STAND up to Sin. I found myself thinking I was bipolar at times because of the war going on within me. One day I loved this guy and thought he was the one I wanted to marry, and the next day I felt like God was telling me He had someone else. I went back and forth on feelings and emotions. Alcohol and drugs put me at a position where I was drinking but I just wanted to stop being drunk or stop being high and I couldn't. I wanted to have more control in life but the things I was choosing were wrong... I needed to hand them over to God. I gave up my friends, I gave up the parties, I gave up the alcohol and drugs, I gave up what the Devil gave me to destroy me and traded it all in for the Spirit.
You can't be lukewarm. You can't be a man or woman that lives only by rules. You can't be a sideline Christian. You are either full-force-surrendering your life-dying to yourself kind of Christian saying you'll do WHATEVER it takes to be holy, OR you may want to re-evaluate your salvation and what you thought you were getting into when you said you wanted to be saved.
BUT if you WANT to say "no" to what's wrong, if you DESIRE to be better, if you truly HATE sinning against your Father, then He is going to help you! "The Spirit HELPS us in our weakness.""The Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express" (Romans 8:26)
Open your eyes to your resources! Look at all the churches, groups, mentors, and fellowship groups that are looking to welcome you in. Get involved and stick with it! You've made a commitment! Now do your part!
We are MORE than CONQUERORS!
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